Film Journal 2023: You Hurt My Feelings
Directed by Nicole Holofcener
The small, indie dramatic comedy is always a welcome aspect of a given film year, and this unassuming effort fits the bill perfectly. It balances genuine laugh out loud moments, built as they are on what is mostly situational comedy, and grounds that with a small, contained premise that explores relatable and familiar questions regarding our relationships and the lies we tell to uphold them.
The story never feels obliged to stretch further than this, even when the plot faces certain temptations to further it as the film goes on. Any step forward to this end is met with an intentional step backwards into the simple nature of those questions and its core concern. It functions as a what if scenario; what if someone you care about and who cares about you lied about their feelings towards something that matters to you. And it throws this into a blender that demonstrates the ebb and flow of relational dynamics. And not just dynamics, but how we live in and respond to those dynamics.
The film takes the time to draw out each character, giving us just enough to understand where they are coming from, each from a unique perspective relating to their personal circumstances and challenges and desires. And yet that agency is intimately bound up in the whole of this group of family and friends, all asking similar questions when it comes to the blender of emotions and responses. It’s super effective and extremely relatable, making it easy to miss where the film edges you from laughing at its situational comedy towards laughing at oursleves. It makes it only to easy to say, “I feel like I’ve been there”. More pertinent to say, “I feel like WE’VE been their.” Which is to say, just because this is a small film with fewer screens, don’t underestimate the value of seeing a film like this together. Not just for the laughs, but for its therapeutic power.
The Stories of my Life 