The Provocative Gospel of Jesus, The Son of God- reflections on the third chapter of the Gospel of Mark

In my previous reflection, I noted the transition from John (the Baptizer) to Jesus in the first chapter of Mark’s Gospel, a transition that pushes us into a fuller discussion of the nature of discipleship- the call to follow Jesus on the Way.

Recognizing the Way as a movement in (and into) life in the Kingdom of God (a Kingdom come near), Mark leaves his readers with two central questions that will continue to define the rest of his narrative looking forward- Who is Jesus, and what does it look like to follow Jesus on the way?

Bookmarked by two passages- the call to discipleship in 1:16, and the appointing of the twelve disciples in chapter 3:13; these two questions will launch us head first into the rather difficult and defining language of “The Parable of the Sower” that opens chapter 4. It is here where the discussion of life in the kingdom of God gets blown wide open in a rather challenging and unsettling fashion, setting earlier discussions of the right and the wrong Way (of the straight path) into the more surprising language of “insiders” and “outsiders”.

Before we arrive here, however, there is worth in giving pause to consider the ways in which Mark has been preparing us to approach the challenging nature of this parable with proper perspective and open ears, beginning with the rather provocative nature of his opening statement:

Jesus, The Son of God
“The Beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the son of God.”
-Mark 1:1

The gospel of Jesus, the son of God!

By opening His Gospel with these words, Mark calls us to attention. The words we are about to read, the testimonies we are about to encounter all come down to one person- Jesus. Jesus is the one John calls us to turn towards. Jesus is the one we are called to follow.

Jesus, the son of God.

It is a provocative claim that indicates the Gospel we are about to hear, the “Gospel of God” that Jesus comes to proclaim in 1:14, has the power to change us in unexpected ways, both in the way we think and the way we view God’s involvement in the world and our lives. In the Kingdom of God come near, Mark recognizes the work of Jesus in reshaping our perspective on how the kingdom of God arrives at our point of view.

As the Scribes say, “who can forgive sins but God alone?” In the language of the son of God, we find this shocking declaration that the kingdom of God has been brought near in the person and work of Jesus, the one who enters the world on God’s terms, a God who has chosen to dwell alongside the created order, in the midst of the brokenness. He is the one who forgives, heals, eats with sinners and then calls us to follow Him on this Way in the forgiven and forgiving life.

The Pattern of Discipleship Continues
As we move from chapter 2 and into chapter 3, we find the same familiar pattern moving us from the still places of the synagogue (3:1) and the desolate place of the sea and the mountain (3:7; 13) into the business of the healing and the crowds… only now, as we continue to do so, we find “the Crowd increases”.


“Jesus could no longer openly enter a town, but was out in desolate places, and people were coming to him from every quarter.”
– Mark 1:45

In Mark 1:45 we find the space between the desolate places and the business of the crowd beginning to blur. And now in chapter 3, Jesus enters the synagogue and it says, “a man was there”. He withdraws to the sea and it says “the crowd follows”. Jesus goes up the mountain and He “brings those he desires”.

This apparent tension, the gradual disruption of this pattern we are being asked to imitate, is a call to keep our eyes open, to expect the unexpected. As Mark calls us to consider who Jesus is and what it looks like to follow Him on the Way, we find Him eating at the table with sinners and out in the world healing on the Sabbath. As we find Him in these places, the voices of the dissenters also increase. These are the voices intent on describing, instead, who Jesus certainly must not be.

So who is Jesus? In chapter 3 it is the “unclean spirits” and the “demons”, not the dissenters, that know the secret of the kingdom that the “Parable of the Sower” will eventually unleash in chapter 4, the secret of who Jesus actually is in this kingdom narrative. And if one thing is becoming clear at this point, it is that Jesus is most certainly not the person they suggest Him to be. His way is decidedly different than the one they expect to follow as He persists in the Way of the forgiven and forgiving life.

Forgiveness and the Kingdom Way
All sins towards the son of man will be forgiven but whoever Blasphemes against he Spirit will not be forgiven
– Mark 3:28-29

It is the resurfacing theme of the forgiven and forgiving life in this obscure passage about the “eternal sin” that finally prepares us to hear the challenging parable of the sower in proper perspective, and there are a few things of note we can pull from this passage that can help us as we head into chapter 4:

  1. Without the baptism of the Spirit (1:8) there is no forgiveness.
    We can follow John’s call to turn (repent) towards Jesus (chapter 1), but without the arrival of the Spirit (the Spirit that declares Jesus to be the “son of God”) there is no forgiven and forgiving way of life for us to follow into.
  1. This passage has more to say about who Jesus is as “the son of God” than it does our own sinful nature.
    The passage indicates that Jesus refers to “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” because “they were saying He (Jesus) had an unclean Spirit”. In speaking of the eternal sin, Jesus is addressing His own nature, not ours. Either He can forgive sins or He cannot. For Mark, He is either the son of God or He is not. He cannot be both things at once.The Kingdom come near in Mark chapter 1 is a Kingdom undivided. It is a straight path in which we gain a perfect (undivided) picture of The Way, the Gospel of God that belongs to Jesus. As Jesus goes on to say, a Kingdom cannot stand divided against itself (3:24), and thus there remains only one way to truly see who Jesus is, and that is to recognize the Way of the forgiven and forgiving life that He calls us to participate in.
  1. The paradox of learning to live in the tension between the right and the wrong Way of the Gospel.
    Chapter 4 is about to push us head first into a discussion of “insiders” and “outsiders”, but before we arrive at this place in Mark’s Gospel of Jesus, the son of God, we must wrestle through a passage about the “eternal sin”. Here we are reminded that if we see anything other than the forgiven and forgiving life we will miss the point of Jesus as the son of God. The Way of Jesus is not about our ability to enter the Kingdom by living the perfect (moral, lawful, holy) life. Rather it is about learning to see Jesus, the son of God, and all of the implication that this provocative statement brings with it. For Mark, seeing Jesus as the son of God changes everything. It is because of this statement that we can find hope in the brokenness of our world. It is because of this that we can find freedom in our own failure.And here in lies the paradox- If the Spirit is true, and if the Spirit came to reveal Jesus to us on God’s terms rather than ours, then the very fact that this tension exists (between a broken world and a promised restoration) testifies to the existence of the Spirit in our lives and in our world. This passage is not about having to fear whether we have committed an eternal sin or not (and the judgment we might feel this carries with it), it is about the freedom that Jesus, the son of God, offers in the forgiven and forgiving Way of life.

Making Further Sense of the paradox
The tension that Mark continues to grapple with as he approaches this notion of insiders and outsiders continues to build a case for the forgiven and forgiving Ways of Jesus, the son of God. This is the Gospel that Mark is unfolding. It is out of the brokenness and the failure that we come to an awareness of Jesus. It is about sharing space with the sick and the sinners, the unclean and the demons.  In Jesus, the Kingdom of God comes near in the form of a promise to bring healing and restoration to the brokenness, and we do not enter the Way of this promised restoration by proving our worth on the grounds of our own holiness or perfection first, but rather on the grounds of embracing the (perfect) undivided picture of Jesus that the son of God represents – the son of God who, indeed, does have the power to forgive.

Mark is good at recognizing when passages like this will bring to light a certain angst. If we know there is an eternal sin, our first tendency might be to fear we have committed it or to wonder how can know if we, in-fact, did commit it. When we allow ourselves to get lost in these kinds of questions, it can cause us to feel a need to try and control the Way of God. It can lead us to respond like the dissenters, binding the Way of God to the letter of the (moral, holy) law and working to achieve a place in His Kingdom based on our own merit.

The provocative declaration of Jesus as the son of God challenges this sort of thinking, exposing the dangerous places it can lead us towards- when we work to erect boundaries, and when we become primarily concerned with proving our right to be counted as an insider in God’s kingdom based on our own sense of worth, it will inevitably lead us not only to a sense of failure in living up to our own expectations (living the letter of the law is an impossible notion for anyone), but it forces us to relegate others to the outside based on these same failed expectations.

This is how we arrive at the final section of Mark chapter 3, a passage that reminds us that when we see anything other than the forgiven and forgiving life we miss Jesus. Here Jesus rather shockingly (and unexpectedly) blows the parameters of the kingdom wide open by redefining for us who belongs in the family of God. By declaring “all those who sat around him” as his true brother and sisters, He reorients our picture of the family of God, one not defined by the walls we build but rather by the ways in which Jesus breaks down these barriers. This is made all the more shocking by the fact that that, His own flesh and blood relations are standing in His midst while He says this.

In God’s Kingdom, “all” are called to belong as a member of the family of God. It is a statement that places Jesus right back where we found him, at the table with the sick and sinners and out in the world calling all who have ears to hear this powerful message of grace, a message that even the demons hear. The real question for us as we read through The Gospel of Mark- is it a message that we are willing to hear for ourselves.

The Counterintuitive Ways of Jesus- Reflections in the Second Chapter of Mark

I reflected in my previous posts that the first chapter of Mark is primarily concerned with helping us to “see” the person and works of Christ- Jesus is where John points us and Jesus is the one that we are called to follow on the Way. In the second chapter of Mark we begin to see that the Way of Jesus often seems unreasonable and counterintuitive to some of societies greatest concerns- the protection of our individual rights (human rights), fairness and equality, progress (progressiveness) and growth. Here we find Mark beginning to pull this tension, between the way of the world and the way of Jesus, further to the surface as he calls us towards a new way of seeing.

I know I am not alone in finding the way of Jesus unreasonable and counterintuitive to my own nature. Mark’s audience found it equally so. That Mark calls us to give up our rights, our ideas of fairness, our ideas of what is progressive, in order to see Jesus more fully can be an affront on the senses. But the true wonder of this new way of seeing is that, as we allow it to reshape our approach to some of our most fundamental (and intuitive) values, it actually can give these values a new sense of worth and meaning.

Bringing Clarity to the pattern of Discipleship
For Mark, this new way of seeing that he calls us towards allows us to move far more intentionally into God’s vision for our lives and this world, one which shares in the knowledge of who Jesus is and what He came to do. This is the Gospel message that Mark begins in chapter 1. It is this promise for a greater vision of God, this world and ourselves that pushes us out into the movement of the Gospel, a movement that Mark expresses in the idea of discipleship, which follows Jesus out into the world.

In my last post I described “discipleship” (Mark 1:16-20) in the following pattern:
“Discipleship begins with the formation of the Synagogue (the still places), where we can be shaped by the Word, and moves outwards towards the ministry of Jesus to others.”

The second chapter of Mark looks to bring further clarity, along with a further practicality, to this pattern as it functions in a life committed to seeing the way of Jesus above our own.

  1. We see and then we move- the way of Jesus
    In the story of the healing of the paralytic (2:1-12), Jesus moves in the same recognizable pattern of discipleship, from the desolate places (1:45) to Capernaum (2:1), where it is the action of “seeing” the faith of the four men that moves him towards the action of forgiving the Paralytic’s sin. 2:13-17 follows with the story of Levi, a story that finds Jesus moving from the desolate place (by the sea) towards the crowd in which He “sees” Levi and is moved to action.It is by contrast, then, that we are introduced to the Scribes, a group of temple elites who fail to see Jesus for who He is and what He came to do precisely because they were focused on the activity of Jesus (action) rather than seeing Jesus the person.
  2. The question of the Scribes and Jesus’ response
    Recognizing the contrast, Jesus responds to the Scribe’s lack of vision with the following question:“Why do you question these things in your heart?” (2:8)The “thing” that they question is the Way of Jesus, this new way of seeing that calls us to give up our right to live the way we want in order to see Jesus with greater clarity. This is where the concern for Jesus claiming to be God (in 2:7) gives way to a concern for His subversion of the social order in eating with the sinners in 2:16.And here is where this passage leads us- The Way of Jesus is not fair. The Way of Jesus challenges their right to the promises of God as loyal Jewish believers by extending these same rights and privileges to the gentiles and the sinners. In the eyes of the Scribes, The Way of Jesus does not appear to uphold the Holiness and strength of faith that the law was intended to protect, but rather celebrates sinfulness and weakness of character in the eyes of God.

The New Way of Seeing
This brings us back to a key part of John’s ministry that we uncovered in chapter 1- the idea of forgiveness, the forgiven and forgiving life that marks the Way of God.

What is most problematic for the Scribes is that Jesus offers the paralytic forgiveness (2:7). And yet, this is the first action that Jesus does.

Here is why I think Jesus forgave rather than healed. If Jesus had healed the paralytic physically, the healed man still would not have belonged in the company of the Scribes or in the Synagogue. So Jesus goes straight to the heart of the matter. By forgiving his sins He raises the paralytic up and brings the Scribes down to where they all could all exist on the same level.

The Forgiven and Forgiving Way of Jesus
In my first reflective piece on the first chapter of Mark I talked about the tension that exists between the truth that we are broken and the truth that we are beloved. Jesus is moved by compassion by what he sees in the paralytic, a beloved child of God, and yet raises him up according to his brokenness. This is the Way of the forgiven and the forgiving life. This is the unreasonable Gospel that the Scribes feel moved to question.

When Jesus goes on to ask, “which is easier, forgiveness of sins or physical healing”, He presents something of a paradox. In commenting on his own action Jesus is shining a light on the Scribes. It is easy to consider that physical healing would be harder than forgiving, but it is the forgiveness of sins that weighs the Scribes down more than the healing. By forgiving the sins of the paralytic, Jesus effectively reminds the Scribes of what God did for them in their own brokenness. In doing this he calls the Scribes to see the paralytic for who he is, a man now physically healed, but more importantly fully forgiven and fully beloved, just like them. It is from here that Jesus calls them to action by modelling what it means to extend this same forgiveness of God outwards. This is where we find him reclined at the table with the sick and the sinners.

Pessimism and Hopefulness
When we fail to see Jesus, we will fail to understand what he is doing on the path that He is walking before us and why His Way often feels unreasonable and unfair. As Jesus said, He came not to call the righteous, but the sinners, not those who are well, but those who are sick. (2:17). And yet the connecting piece of this puzzle that seems to cause the most angst is the real message behind this statement- we are all in need of Jesus. All of us our sick.

I have heard some say that this is a rather pessimistic view to take of humanity. And yet, after years of living as a Christian, I don’t find it pessimistic at all. I find it necessary. I find it freeing. By keeping our eyes on who Jesus is and what He came to do, it opens our eyes with greater clarity to the needs of this world. This is always where we are heading on the Way, on this journey of faith. But it also opens our eyes to a greater vision of who we are. It keeps us from turning reason, our societies highest virtue, into a god. It humbles us from seeing our rights and our freedoms as the greatest value we can uphold, and in doing so it reminds us that it is only by giving up our rights, our freedoms, our demands for fairness, that we can truly enter into the company of others on equal ground.

In Jesus we are offered something much greater than the values of our rights and freedoms and fairness- all things that point us back to ourselves. In Jesus we find the opportunity to truly see beyond ourselves, to see one who embodies the values of servant-hood and sacrifice on our behalf.

Finding A Common Grace At The Table 
The real glory, the real surprise, the real amazement of these two stories was always about the much harder thing… repentance and forgiveness. When it comes to our own lives it would be much easier to have God show up in physical form and visibly fix the problems of this world. It is much harder to see God in the mess. And yet this is where this forgiven and forgiving life calls us towards- into the brokenness of our lives and the messiness of the world, finding a place at the table with the sick and the sinners.

When we repent, when we turn our eyes away from ourselves and towards the person and work of Jesus, we begin to see what Jesus sees- the person in the crowd, the hearts of the questioners, the call of the needy. We begin to see that we have not been given a greater claim to the Gospel than the sinner that sits next to us. We recognize that, in Christ, we all stand on equal ground.

The sermon at my Church this past Sunday pointed out the way in which the meal shared with Levi points us to our communion with Christ at the table of this sacred practice. When we come to the communion table, we enter into the company of the one who walked this path before us. We share space with the work that Jesus is doing in us, and we are nourished for the journey that shares this forgiveness with others. This is where we find Jesus, reclined at the table with Levi. This is where we find freedom, in the grace that Jesus extends to us to recline with Him at this table as well.

Embracing A Messy Way of Life 
So why is this idea of forgiveness so hard to believe? Perhaps because it asks us to give up our ability to control how we feel the Gospel should work. Perhaps because it feels like an affront to our ideals of personal rights and fairness on the worlds terms. This Way of forgiveness is not easy. It is never easy. And it is rarely rational or reasonable. And yet it is in this idea that when we are broken we are also beloved that we can learn to see Christ more fully, both for who He is and what came to do. And it is by seeing Christ more fully that we can learn to see and serve the needs of others in the Way of Christ as well.

The Pattern of Discipleship: Further Reflections on the First Chapter of The Gospel of Mark

In my previous reflection on the first chapter of Mark, I focused on my response to “the Kingdom of God coming near”, suggesting it necessarily be shaped by the following two ideas:
1. Repentance (a turning towards Jesus)
2. Belief in the Gospel of God (living into the “way” which John comes to prepare and that Jesus comes to embody)

We can recognize “The Way” (or the straight path in Mark 1:1) by keeping our sights on the one(s) who have gone before us. In the first 15 verses of Mark’s Gospel, we are introduced to John The Baptist, who comes to model this way of “seeing” by preparing the way for the one who is to follow, the one he calls Jesus.

The transition point between these two figures comes in verses 14 and 15, where John is arrested and fades from the picture in rather stark fashion, and Jesus continues on the straight path in his stead. It is this transition that prepares us for a pivotal point in Mark’s Gospel, the call to discipleship.

Just as John prepared the way for Jesus, Jesus now prepares the way for us. This is the way of discipleship, a way that is shaped by the example of Jesus which Mark helps give shape to in the remainder of chapter 1:16-45. As we will soon see, this is a way that is marked as both a movement towards and a call outwards to living the forgiven and the forgiving life that I unpacked in my first reflection.

The Model of Discipleship (Mark 1:16-45)
1. Learning to See
In Mark 1:16 and 17, we find Jesus “turning” his sights towards Galilee in which the first action we encounter is that He “sees” Simon and Andrew”.

Discipleship is about learning to “see” more clearly, both who Jesus is and who Jesus is calling me to be as His disciple. This is what it means to grow into our call as “fishers of men”, is to see and participate in the work of Jesus as we move out into the world as witnesses to the work that Jesus is doing in us.

2. Learning to Follow
Two times in Mark 1:16-20 we encounter the word “follow”.

Discipleship is a movement. Just as Jesus marks his transition on the straight path by moving into Galilee, our discipleship is marked by “following” in the way of Jesus.

Which begs a question. Where are we following Jesus towards? Here Mark uses 1:21-45 to help give shape to the path that Jesus treads before us, a movement that we are called to follow in as disciples of Jesus, or disciples of The Way.

The Pattern of Discipleship: Moving From Word To Witness
As one of the pastors at our Church pointed out this past Sunday, Jesus spends a lot of time in the synagogue and in prayer in Mark’s Gospel. And so the path that Jesus treads begins in a rather counter-intuitive place- in the stillness of the Word. We must be formed by the Word before the Word sends us outwards.

This is where we find the Stillness-Witness movement emerging as a pattern in Mark for helping us understand the nature of discipleship.

– Jesus moves from the isolation of the wilderness (vs. 12-13) to calling the disciples in Galilee (vs. 16-17)

– Jesus moves from the teachings of the synagogue (vs. 21) to the healing narrative in the house of Simon and Andrew (29-31)

– Jesus moves from the desolate place in which he prays (vs. 35) to the towns and all of Galilee (vs. 38-39).

It is in verse 39 that Mark summarizes this movement from Word to Witness,
“And he went throughout all Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and casting out demons.”

This is, I believe, the point of the pattern that Mark seems to lay out for us in his first chapter: Discipleship begins with the formation of the Synagogue (the still places), where we can be shaped by the Word, and moves outwards to the ministry of Jesus to others.

As Mark established in the first 15 verses of his Gospel, this is how we learn to see Jesus on The Way, is by first being forgiven and then learning to forgive. This is the Gospel Way. This is the Way we keep our eyes wholly centered on the one who has gone before us, the Jesus who came to carry the Gospel forward into all the world. This is the way we ensure that we don’t get lost living life out in the world on our own terms and on our own effort.

The Great Reversal
This remains purely subjective, but I can’t help but see some intention in Mark’s closing section of chapter 1, the “Cleansing of the Leper” (vs. 40-45). Where the pattern of discipleship has been set in the previous verses, here we find it reversed. This healing story begins with the busy-ness of the towns, the crowds and the ministry, and then pushes us back out into the desolate place(s) to which Jesus retreats. This is a reversal that reminds us that, no matter how hectic life gets, we must always make time for the what matters most- centering our life on The Way of Jesus. Making time for prayer and the forming Word of God helps us to keep our sights on Jesus and helps us to follow in His footsteps as we move out into a busy and demanding world on the Spirits terms rather than our own.

It is a reversal that reminds us that for as much as The Way calls us towards an outward movement, the work of the Gospel begins as an inward transformation. For as much as discipleships calls us to “follow” in The Way of Jesus, we can only follow Jesus if we encounter him first.

Our Church sent out another reflection question this week to think over as we continue to process the idea of The Way in Mark’s Gospel. The question was simply this:
Jesus appeared to say no to many things in order to say yes to the main thing he was called to be and do. Are you saying yes to so many things that you have lost sight of the big Yes of your life? Is there a next step in saying no to something in order to say yes to the main thing?

Contemplating My Life in the Stillness
As I consider the pattern in Mark 1:16-45, I can’t help but feel how intentional Jesus’ movement becomes. He seeks out the synagogue. He seeks out the disciples and the crowds. He seeks out the desolate places. He seeks out sick. It’s a humbling picture as I also consider just how unintentionally I live my own life on most days.

Another translation for “The Kingdom come near” in verse 15 is “The Kingdom is at hand”. In other words, the time has come to live in the kingdom now, not later. That I waste so much time living unintentionally is not simply humbling, it is convicting.

Which brings me to a second consideration, something that has stuck with me since last Sunday’s sermon. The challenge of discipleship is two-fold: living a fruitful life requires us to make time for stillness and contemplation, but we must also question contemplation and stillness that doesn’t bear fruit out in the world. I’ll be honest, I feel pretty far off the mark in both respects.

But the Gospel is a movement in which the most important thing is continuing to move, and in encouraging myself to move I find it worth considering which part of the pattern I need to move towards in this moment in time. Is it stillness and contemplation (being forgiven) or is it extending mercy and healing to those who need it (the forgiving life). Even as I write this I can feel God’s spirit re-fueling my sense of focus, and so maybe this is the place to start for the moment. This is the place to fix my eyes, once more, on Jesus. But I do so knowing this is not where the pattern ends. This is where it begins.The grateful truth of the Gospel message is that Jesus has gone before me both in the stillness of this moment and out into the places He desires me to move in the remainder of this warm, sunshine filled day. It is simply my job to antcipate and to follow.

So may God continue to direct my footsteps and show me where to head, and may he do the same for each of you, wherever you find yourself in the pattern of discipleship.

The Kingdom Come Near: Reflections on The First Chapter of the Gospel of Mark

Every year our Church embarks on a journey through one of the four Gospel narratives. This year it is The Gospel of Mark, and with this past Sunday marking the start of the series (the first Sunday of Epiphany), we opened the series by looking at Mark’s first chapter.

To help foster some further reflection over the course of this past week, my Church also sent out a question for us to consider-
What is our response to what God does in Jesus as the “kingdom of God being brought near”?

The question comes out of chapter 1:15:
“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near;[a]repent, and believe in the Gospel.”
– The Gospel of Mark 1:15

It is the “Gospel of God” proclaimed in 1:14 that we are being asked to believe in verse 15, and this is, of course, the same Gospel that Mark “begins” with anticipation in 1:1. Here in verse 15 we are presented with two ideas that must mark our response to the “kingdom come near”- “repentance” and “belief” in the Gospel of God.

As I spent time reflecting on these two ideas this week, I found my response to the “Kingdom come near” being shaped with greater clarity, beginning with the question, what is the “Gospel of God” that we are being asked to believe in?

The Gospel of God
There are two immediate components of the Gospel that we find in 1:1:
1. The Gospel is the fulfillment of a promise (the promise of the prophet Isaiah)
2. The Gospel of God belongs to Jesus Christ

However, there also appears to be a third component hiding underneath the surface, and it has to do with the question of identity- who is Jesus, the one to whom the Gospel belongs, and who is John, the one who prepares the way for the Gospel of God to be revealed.

Both of these “identity” questions are important for uncovering Mark’s understanding of the Gospel of God, an understanding that moves us from John to Jesus.

Who is John?

  1. John the messenger
    In chapter 1, John is introduced to us as a messenger (vs. 2). His message? To proclaim the one who will follow him, the one who “is mightier than I”, the one whom will come not with water but with “Spirit”. It is the Spirit descending in 1:10 that recognizes this to be the one called Jesus
  2. John the Preparer
    In verse 3, The Gospel of Mark declares that John has been sent to “prepare”.
    “Behold, I send my messenger before you, who will prepare your way.”
    – Mark 1:2

    What is he preparing? “A straight path” to reveal (to us) the “way” of God (vs3), a way that flows out of a Gospel (in Mark 1:1) that is centered on Jesus Christ, the son of God.
  3. John the Baptizer
    In verse 4 John is described as the baptizer, one who has come to baptize in “repentance” and “forgiveness”, two ideas that help define for us what baptism is. Jesus’ declaration of the” kingdom coming near” goes on to share in this call to repent.

    And what is repentance? One of my pastors rightly pointed out that the most accurate picture of repentance in the life of the ancients was a complete “turn” in direction, or to turn our face “towards” something new. It is a positive action towards new life, not simply a negative avoidance of destruction, and in the first chapter of Mark the direction we are being turned towards is Jesus.

Who is Jesus?
After thinking through the identity of John, here is where I found myself in the first chapter of Mark:
1. The Gospel belongs to Jesus
2. John (the messenger) came to show us “the way” of the Gospel in order to show us Jesus.
3. To see Jesus we must “turn” our face in His direction and embark on the way.

So if John is preparing “a way” for us to see Jesus, and repentance is the means by which we face ourselves in the “right” direction, this leads me to another question: What does it look like to embark on the way?

1. The Way as “a movement” or a journey
Jesus is the one we are called to turn towards. But, more than simply facing in the direction of Jesus, this new direction also requires movement. “The kingdom of God coming near” suggests that we have not yet quite arrived. It is something we must continually pursue. There is a hopeful restoration in store for this world, and yet it also reflects an opportunity to live in (and into) this kingdom in the here and the now. It is a journey.

Werner H. Kelber puts it this way in his book, Mark’s Story of Jesus:

“The very first time Mark alludes to an aspect of Jesus’ life, he does so in terms of a “way.” The reader knows Jesus will be traveling a way. We shall observe that the Markan Jesus is indeed in constant movement from place to place, from region to region, frequently back and forth, and all the way from life to death. Jesus’ whole career is conceived in Mark as a journey. The reader will understand Jesus, his life and death, by paying close attention to the points of departure and arrival, to the directions and goals of his travels. There is logic to Jesus’ journey, and to grasp that logic is to grasp the meaning of his mission and identity.”
– Werner H. Kelber (Marks story of Jesus)

In a very real sense, this concept of a journey connects us back to the first mark of the Gospel, a promise fulfilled. The original audience of the Gospel of Mark would have connected the concept of a “straight path” not simply to its prophetic origins, but to the whole of their experienced history.

As John J. Parons argues, both the story of John and Jesus in Mark 1 conjure up memories of the Israelite journey through the wilderness and the desert under Moses, and the return from Babylon out of exile. The Hebrew word derekh, the one used for “way”, can refer to a physical road or pathway, but metaphorically it often refers to the journey that brought the Israelites out of exile and into the promised land.
http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Meditations/Derekh_HaYashar/derekh_hayashar.html

And here-in lies the great realization. As Parsons continues to point out, the way forward (for the Israelites) in the wilderness was by following in the footsteps of one who had gone ahead. This is how they would know the “straight” path, by trusting and depending in the path already trodden, the (one) who went before them in the fire and in the cloud, and in the messenger, Moses, sent by God to deliver them from their slavery. Trust means not knowing what is ahead. Trust means entrusting one’s self to another even when we don’t know what is ahead.

And the more I think about this the more I realize, the best part about embarking on a journey is the idea of embracing the unknown of this trusting experience. In faith it is the unexpected places, the unexpected surprises that bring light to a God who is on the move. And even when we feel lost, it is learning to give ourselves to these unexpected places that can inspire us towards the most important thing we can do on the way, which is to keep moving even when we can’t see what is around the next corner.

2. The Way as forgiveness
For John and Jesus, this movement begins with the idea of repentance, or a turning towards. But it is the second descriptive that we find in John’s “baptism”- forgiveness- that enlightens us to what this movement looks like. Traveling on the “straight path” means living into this idea of forgiveness.

So what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is humility:
“The one who is mightier than me.”

This idea might sound off-putting to our modern ears, but for John this means freedom. It is what allows his story in the opening chapter of Mark to move him from a place of prominence (he got to baptize Jesus! How amazing is that), to a place of desolation (seemingly left behind by Jesus to spend the rest of his days in prison), and still keep our sights on Jesus. It is what allows us to find Jesus in the story of a guy wandering the wilderness, eating locusts and wearing camel’s hair even before he ends up in prison.

Forgiveness must begin with humility because this is what gives the Gospel its power. We are turning in a new direction because the direction we are on is desolate and incomplete. We are living into a new Kingdom come near because the kingdom of now is broken. We are hoping for a new way because the current way often feels hopeless.

Therefore, the way, or the straight path, must be mightier, greater, more worthwhile, more hopeful than the path we are currently on, otherwise there would be no need for a Gospel.

Forgiveness is being Forgiven
If forgiveness is about living in humility, it is also about recognizing that we are called to this journey, or “the way”, as we are and in the midst of the brokenness and in the midst of the desolation. This is where Jesus finds John, in the wilderness exactly as he is, and this is where he brings life into John’s ministry even from the confines of his prison.

Knowing that we are facing in the right direction, knowing that we are on the “right” path is not about doing the right things. It is about our ability to keep moving forward even when things feel broken and even when we don’t get things right. It is about learning to see ourselves (the identity of John) and see the one (the identity of Jesus) in proper light.

The first chapter of Mark contrasts the baptism of John with the baptism of Jesus. In John’s baptism we turn in repentance, and in our turning we see our need for the Gospel, the Gospel that belongs to Jesus and Jesus alone. It is when we turn that we then find the Spirit of Jesus’ baptism that breathes life into this Gospel.

The Spirit is what enables us to carry forward in the way of God as we are. The spirit is what reveals our identity to be other than our brokenness and failure. The spirit is what reveals the way of God and keeps the way of God in full view by continuing to reveal our brokenness and our failure. The Spirit is also what enables us to see ourselves for who God made us to be- children of God who share in the affirmation given to Jesus, God’s beloved child.

Forgiveness is Learning to live an undivided life
There is a tension that arises between these two notions of forgiveness- the humility that recognizes our brokenness and the grace that allows us to live beyond our brokenness, that sees us as beloved.

This tension was not unfamiliar to Mark’s audience. In a theological sense, we can recognize this as being saved by works or saved by grace (faith) alone.

In a practical sense, we can recognize this as a need to know that we are on the “right” path. This is where the (necessary) tension begins and ends, and what the opening chapter of Mark teaches us is that to see the “straight path” as anything other than a movement in which we are living into this forgiveness is to see something other than Jesus.

In an article written for the Biblical Hebrew E-Magazine on the word “righteousness”, Jeff Benner helps shed some light on how the ancient Hebrews would have understood the idea of the “right” way or the straight path.

“The Hebrew words tsadiyq (righteous) and yashar (upright) are paralleled many times in the Bible indicating that in the Hebrew mind they were similar in meaning. Upright is another abstract word but it is used in a concrete manner, such as in Jeremiah 31:9 where it means “straight” as in a straight path.”

He then goes on to show, using the context of Psalm 37:17, how these parallels were used in Biblical literature to help us reconcile this tension between the right and the wrong way.

For the arms of the wicked shall be broken; but the LORD upholds the righteous. (Psalm 37:17 RSV)
“Here we find the word wicked (rasha) being used as an antonym (opposite in meaning) to the word righteous (tsadiyq). These two words are also commonly used together in poetical passage, indicating the Hebrews saw these two words as opposites. While the word is an abstract, we can find its concrete meaning in the verb form, also pronounced rasha. The verb form means to “depart” in the sense of leaving God’s way as seen in Psalm 18:21.”

He concludes by showing us that, for the ancient Israelite and Jewish people, the word tsadiyq is anchored in this picture of moving forward on a path that is centred on the teachings of God, and figures like Moses, the signs of God given to Israel, and ultimately the person of Jesus revealed, give us a very purposed picture of this path by giving us a living example of how to walk it by keeping our eyes on the one that has gone before us. And for each of these persons, stories, and figures, repentance and forgiveness are the two defining factors that keep this path focused outwards (dependence on God) rather than inwards (dependence on ourselves).
http://www.ancient-hebrew.org/emagazine/018.html
Neil Godfrey pushes this idea further by connecting the way, or path, of God in Mark 1:1 with the efforts of the disciples to make a way for their Lord in 2:23.

An interlinear translation shows that the words used here for “way” and “make” are the same as we read in Mark 2:23 where the disciples of Jesus are said to “make a way” or path!

I suggest that when the author of the Gospel of Mark opened his gospel with “make a path for the Lord!” and subsequently depicted the disciples of that Lord “making a path”, presumably for Jesus, their Lord, as they plucked ears of corn to eat, this author was consciously linking the action of the disciples with the call of John the Baptist and the earlier prophets to “make a path” for their Lord!
http://vridar.org/2010/11/10/make-a-path-evidence-of-an-aramaic-source-for-marks-gospel-or-creative-fiction/

What Godfrey helps to show is that what Johns calls us towards on the straight path is not simply an act of works, as it is in 2:23, but rather an act of faith and trust in the one who has gone before us, as we find being established in the first chapter of Mark.

For John the Baptizer, the way of God is not about earning or working his way towards a morally upright life, but rather is formed by keeping our sights on the work that God is already doing. Just as the Israelite people needed to keep their eyes on a path that had already been paved, so must we keep our eyes on the one that has gone before us, an action that John symbolically portrays in his life as the “preparer”.

Learning to See with a single-eye
It was a study in the Gospel of Matthew (last year’s Gospel) that helped illuminate this idea even further for me. In Matthew, the idea of the straight path that we find in John’s story becomes synonymous with the word “perfect” or the idea of “perfection” that we find littered throughout Matthew’s larger narrative.

Keener, in his commentary on Matthew, explains the impossible call to “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” in Matthew 5:48 in the following way.

First, he writes, “Be perfect” and (be merciful) probably represent two ways to translate a single Aramaic term that Jesus used meaning “whole” or “complete”.”
– Keener page 205

He then goes on to connect this to what follows in Matthew 6:22-24, revealing an important wordplay that can help reshape our idea of what it means to live a perfect or morally upright life on the straight path:

“Jesus’ illustration about the “single” (good) eye and the evil eye would immediately make sense to his hearers: a “good” eye was literally a healthy eye, but figuratively also an eye that looked on others generously. In the Greek text of the Gospels, Jesus literally calls the eye a “single” eye, which is a wordplay: The Greek version of the Hebrew Bible also uses this word for “single” to translate the Hebrew term for “perfect,” that is, “single-minded” devotion to God, setting one’s heart on God alone… the single eye is literally undivided, seeing the whole picture.”
– Keener page 233

Recognizing the word “perfect” as seeing a whole and undivided picture of Jesus changes the way we understand Matthew’s familiar Old Testament usage of the good (tsadiyq) and the wicked (rasha) path in 7:14. Rather than being about what we do, rightly or wrongly, on “the way of God”, it becomes about how we are learning to see Jesus more clearly. Rather than being about how others (and God) perceive us as morally upright or morally downtrodden, it is about learning how to see God’s ways more completely, more fully.

Forgiveness is seeing the Whole Picture of God’s Story
The celebration of Epiphany represents the declaration of a Gospel for the world. It is a celebration that finds the Gospel of God moving outwards and into the lives of both Jew and Gentile, breaking down the barriers of what it means to belong in the family of God. We are reminded that God’s movement was set in motion at the dawn of the created order and that in Jesus it becomes fully revealed to his creation.

If it is the Spirit of forgiveness that allows us to freely participate in the way of God, to be participants in God’s story, and if being forgiven allows us to move into shared space with the one who is mightier than us, then it is our ability to forgive that can unite us with the work that Jesus is already doing on this path. As Keener rightly suggests, to see perfectly, or to find an undivided picture of God’s way, shares a meaning with the word “merciful”. When we extend forgiveness outwards it helps us to confidently rest in the inward truth that we are forgiven as well.

It is through the act of forgiveness that the “way of God” sets us all on common ground as beloved children of God, and it is the truth of this forgiven and forgiving life that Jesus calls us to repent and “believe” in.

The Kingdom Come Near
So back to the question at the beginning:

What is our response to what God does in Jesus as the “kingdom of God being brought near”?

There are three things that stand out for me here-
1. The Kingdom of God is near, nearer than we would ever expect, even when it doesn’t seem or feel that way. All we have to do is turn to see it.

2. The Kingdom of God is something we get to live into in the here and the now as active participants in the forgiving work of God. This is the true kingdom-building work. We are forgiven, the Kingdom is already here; we get to extend this forgiveness to others, the kingdom is still at hand.

3. This Kingdom building work consistently reminds me that no matter how far off the path I veer, there is always room to keep moving. All it takes is turning towards the way of God, the way of Jesus, the way of the Gospel, in which we can see the work that God is already doing on our behalf.

Book Review: Making Sense of God: An Invitation to the Skeptical by Tim Keller

imgres
I think Making Sense of God: An Invitation to the Skeptical is Keller’s best work yet. He has gone on record stating that Making Sense of God is a sort of prequel to his best selling The Reason for God. The reason he gives for such a prequel is that he felt the need to offer a well-reasoned position as to why people might (or could) be motivated to consider a reasoning for God in the first place. In other words, why should we care about bringing the question of God into the picture in the first place?

Peaceful and Methodical 
I found the book very methodical in its approach and his arguments well layed out. It feels quite the opposite to some of the older style apologetics, which at times tend towards a penchant for creating strawman arguments. Keller is not at war, nor is he wanting to create a war. His motivation is to open the door for peaceful and helpful dialogue, and so he is careful not to dismiss or belittle any of the arguments he confronts. He simply wants to shed light on the struggle that exists between belief and unbelief.

It is worth noting that he does speak, at least partially, from a laymans position. That is to say, his depth of experience with the questions he pursues in the book are centred on his experience with being a Pastor to many who have taken this journey either towards or away from faith, and faced these struggles themselves. I find him to be very good at navigating this middle ground, between his obviously well-researched position on religious and philosophical grounds (the depth he brings to the endnotes and references is worth the price of the book alone) and his understanding of the personal struggle that can (and does) exist for many of us in the everyday commonness of trying to do this thing called life. This is where he finds his sweet spot.

The Skeptical and the Nones: Making Sense of the Target Audience
It is a book that has been suggested as being marketed to the skeptical (as warranted by the title). I might take this a step further and suggest that his true market is the so-called “nones”, to which he references in the book as those who claim no affiliation with a denomination and/or religion, nor a strong affiliation with stringent forms of atheism. I would wager that strident atheists and believers (who have made up their mind on either side of the fence) might not appreciate the book or might otherwise abuse/misunderstand the ideas he represents. This would be unfortunate, but it would also be expected.  It wouldn’t surprise me that some might dismiss his arguments as already “tried and found wanting” without much need for further consideration. The truth is, Keller doesn’t fit perfectly into either mode. Being a (unapologetic) professing Christian who takes equal aim at abusive forms of conservatism and dishonest forms of atheism does limit the scope of his audience. But hopefully the audience that he does manage to captivate can be more adept at bringing both reason and experience, thought and faith into a more well-balanced discussion of the religious motivation (both for and against).

Classic Keller with a Twist
Keller’s interest in writing Making Sense of God should be nothing new (for those familiar with his previous work and his sermons), but the concise way that he brings together his thoughts allows this to feel fresh, and his commentary on the current state on the Church feels important and relevant. He meanders through much of the secular humanist/materialist/atheist reasoning in an attempt not to show them as moral denigrates or dangerous monsters (quite the opposite in-fact), but rather to show the limits of their reasoning in the realm of honest philosophical consideration. To admit the limits of secular humanist reasoning, for Keller, is a place that every good and honest thinker must start, whether one is religiously inclined or not, when making sense of God. For as much as religion must face its own limitations (and accept that it has its own set of problems), so does atheism, and a thorough examining of history can prove this continues to be the case. Perhaps admitting these limitations can help us understand that these two ideologies (or worldviews) should not be at war. Rather, they should want to be in constant dialogue.

Keller goes on in his early chapters to consider a shocking analysis of the religious front. Contrary to the view of popular culture, Keller insists that the data and the evidence shows religion is not waning or dying out, but simply reorienting itself within certain dying factions, while other factions are actually gaining in strength. The great fallacy of our time, or the great misunderstanding of religion, begins with the false idea that there are no intellectually honest, rationally concerned and yet still religiously committed forms of the Christian Church and practice available. That the entirety of Christianity (and atheism for that matter) has been placed under a single, unfortunate stereotype is a part of the problem on both sides of the fence. Keller doesn’t say as much, but certainly his work at Redeemer is an example of a decidedly different kind of Church, one that happens to be flourishing without the aid of popular technique or flashy stages, and one that is encouraging a new kind of urban witness and style of conversation for our modern landscape, one that is not afraid to embrace the Christian traditions or the questions at the same time.

The Problem of Created Meaning
My favorite chapters are the earlier ones that deal with meaning, satisfaction, and happiness. It is the journey that I have been on lately, and it is where I think Keller shines the brightest. His chapters on morality and hope are also very good, but they are decidedly more complex as well and depend on the foundation that is established in the earlier chapters.

Where I think the subject of happiness and satisfaction and meaning hit home (for me) is the way in which they force us to be completely honest with the “why” questions. Why do we need to consider God? Why should we care about altruism and human worth? Why should we embrace the idea of sacrificial living? Keller helps us to see that secular humanism makes a ton of assumptions when it comes to the many why questions, most of which surround morality and meaning, assumptions that, when laid bare, it ultimately cannot fully answer (something the most prominent humanist thinkers admit, as Keller shows). This is where the earlier chapters help give shape to the larger discussion of why God, showing how all of the “whys” flow out of the following notion:  how do we honestly live (and sell, since living is essentially a relating activity) a worldview that must learn to accept that it is living (for better or for worse) a lie. Not a lie in the misleading sense, but “lie” as in a contradiction of thought and practice.

For example (to flesh this out with a bit more clarity), secular humanism accepts what most people intuitively know, which is that emotions such as love and experiences such as admiring beauty are real emotions and real experiences that have inherent meaning outside of ourselves. They are recognized as universal truths. However, the worldview it imposes onto these universal truths must also accept that any meaning attributed to these emotions and experiences is created (a product of chemical reactions determined by the environment in which we live and governed by the process of history and evolution) not given. These emotions and experiences are essentially reactions that trick us into feeling one way or another. Thus, the only way for us to genuinely give ourselves to these emotions and experiences (in a way that matters) is for us to willingly (or naively) ignore the truth of created meaning (a truth that can be manipulated) while subsequently allowing ourselves to submit to the delusion that this truth carries given (universal) meaning.

Keller maintains that most of us would accept that, if love (in the moment of the emotion) is processed purely on the basis of what it actually is (in this worldview), the idea of love would necessarily be cheapened; nothing more than a pleasurable and (sometimes) helpful experience that we can either give ourselves to or become cynical towards. Rather, for something like love to become meaningful, we must be able to accept it as meaningful, long before the meaning is actually created. Thus the contradiction of thought and practice.

The word “lie” here sounds rather forceful (and this might be the place where strident atheists check out of the conversation), but Keller’s careful methodology forces us to face it head on. After sifting through all of the complex (and rather good) philosophical considerations for secular-humanism, we consistently arrive back at the same place. The best we can do is suggest that “we should care simply because it is something we should care about”.

But why? Is it that we should care because our environment and evolutionary development has positioned our consciousness to care, and that should be enough? But how do we deal with the truth that history shows us enslaved to the evolutionary process, not the other way around, and thus we must consider an evolutionary process that is contradictory to the claims of our social consciousness? Sure, we can consider that our social consciousness is a unique part of our “human evolution”, and thus must be considered as a unique faction of the evolutionary chain, but even within the framework of human evolution the path is far from linear and purely “progressive”.

Once we consider that all of our conscious emotions (which form the basis of caring and meaning) are simply created forms of created meaning, it should follow that we would be forced to consider ideas (or experiences) such as love and compassion, for as intuitive as they are, as without meaning (or meaningless) outside of their practical context. We can choose to give it meaning, but then we are ignoring the greater truth (of science and reason within a secular humanist worldview), which is that this meaning must be manufactured from outside of the environment that actually created the feeling or the experience, an environment that is not concerned with altruism (selflessness) but rather survival and adaptation (selfishness).

The Common angst of the Spiritual Journey: Why created “meaning” can’t work for me.
The reason I appreciated this part of the book is because it reflects, rather accurately, my own journey through secular-humanism and atheism. At one point in my life I figured I had found the truth (of intellectual reasoning) and the truth had set me free. But what I lost in the process was the motivation to care. Everywhere I looked I found false expressions of the essential human experience that most of us intuitively embrace (love, self-giving, sacrificial), an experience, if I was truly honest, I was even able to manipulate and control if I wanted. This realization filtered all the way down to the most troublesome notion for me- experiencing and recognizing the fallacy of the way in which we process human loss by breathing meaning into our relationships where it otherwise wold not be a given. This is what the truth tends to do, though, is make us confront the futility of this world in which we are far from the centre of the universe. If I am not able to operate from the religious premise of endowed human worth (which is an exercise of faith), I was forced to face the truth that whoever speaks this worth into my context of my own funeral must do so by reconstructing the picture my life in a way that ignores the truth of what it was. Because God knows that if someone honestly portrayed my life for what it was (or has been… I’m still alive after all) rather than what an endowed sense of meaning allows me (and others) to say it is, it would cause most to leave the funeral disgusted, defeated and discouraged.

And yet, I suspect that the story of my own funeral will be the same as every funeral I have ever attended, which is a celebration of my worth and goodness as an individual and a vision of my life set in some form of a positive light. I’ll be honest, this was a small token of assurance during my experimentation with a secular-humanist approach, because God (irony intended) also knows that my name (along with most people) will fade into the nothingness of history less than a generation or so after I pass. But the greatest loss I faced at this time in my life was that, if I was not able to accept this meaning for myself, I could not, at least not honestly, give meaning to others either.

The Emotional Struggle
Keller gets the emotional core of this struggle spot-on, and really narrows in on the questions that tend to cause people in my position so much angst and turmoil. The idea that we are living a lie, and the idea that I must also lie to myself on a daily basis in order to live it with any sense of truth and conviction, is a very defeatist position to find yourself in. I know that there are many atheists who choose not to submit to this defeat, and their witness (as people who live a good life, who are happy, and who manage to make something out of this created worth) might be the strongest argument against the need for God. After all, if the idea of God is not true, this exercise simply becomes the reality of the life we are forced to live, and we might as well try to make it as happy an exercise as we can. But it doesn’t make this approach any more true or honest or rational than the faith positions of the religious. And further, it has little to say to those who don’t fall on the winning side of this lottery we call life, the ones who are not afforded the material comforts and joys of the so-called elite nor the social support that can help ease life’s emotional and physical burdens.

For myself, I couldn’t get past the fact that I must learn to live a delusion in order to find meaning in life beyond the material, and I didn’t have much that could satisfy my feeling of defeat that this reality led me towards.

Making sense of God in my own life was a way of reconciling this tension. It reoriented my tendency to see faith as the “delusion” and secularism as the truth.  It allowed me to consider that both God/religion and secular humanism demanded equal acts of “faith”, a cliche (I know, because I dismissed this cliche myself for many years), but nevertheless a truth, one that that helped free me from the prison of intellectual elitism.

Spreading Himself too thin
This might be a small criticism, but Keller might have been better off simply addressing the limitations of the secular-humanist approach rather than stretching some of the material to0 thin (which I believe he does) with the smaller portions that deal more with apologetics “for” the Christian faith rather than for the “consideration” of God in general. The format he carries through the book, before leaving room for a brief look at the Christian story in the final chapters, is to examine the different parts of the secular-humanist/materialist/atheist positions, outline what he perceives as their limitations, and then conclude with his (brief) consideration for the helpfulness of the Christian approach in dealing with some of these limitations.  In this sense, while the true interest of the book is in setting the groundwork for considering religious belief, he submits himself to the religion which he knows best- Christianity; thus furthering the books interest in the particulars of the Christian faith in response. This is actually the interest of The Reason For God, and I think he would have been better served to simply leave Making Sense of God as an argument for religious consideration in general while allowing his previous book to push this further.

Although all of what he says has relevance and importance, it does feel slightly premature to his end goal of engaging the heart and mind of the skeptic in a sort of middle-ground. For many skeptics (I can imagine), the Christian theology might arrive with the baggage of what turned them away from considering religion to begin with, which means it could become an obstacle to Keller’s greater hope and concern- which is to encourage readers to be “willing” to consider a religious direction and concern.

With that said, I would definitely still consider this one of Keller’s best books. It won’t be for everyone, but I think, for a certain crowd, he provides something incredibly reasoned and hopeful, especially for those who have ever felt lost in the middle ground between faith and the secular.

ROSEBUD- A resolution that just might work.

One of the podcasts in my weekly rotation recently published an episode on New Years resolutions. Normally I don’t do resolutions. I find them predictable, cheesy, a bit silly, and unrealistic.
So I was a bit cynical when I found the podcast promising an approach to resolutions that could actually make a difference in the year ahead.

Cynical but also intrigued.

This intrigue eventually led to a willingness to give their advice a shot.

I do admit, once you pull away the cover of the catchy title, their concept for making resolutions shares much in common with pretty much every other resolution out there. But what stands out is the way their approach easily carries over from one year to next, allowing me to look back on the year before and integrate what worked (and what didn’t) into next years resolutions.

It comes from a podcast called extrapackofpeanuts, and it is based on a simple formula they came up with that they call the ROSEBUD system. The rules for the ROSEBUD system are as follows:

Step 1: List Three Roses-
This is the stuff that I would consider the greatest strengths, successes or accomplishments of the past year, the stuff that has managed to blossom into a Rose.

Step 2: List Three Thorns

This would reflect my greatest personal struggles of the past year.

Step 3: List Three Buds
This is a list of what I would like to “bud” into Roses in the coming year.

Step 4: Come up with a word for the year
This should be a single word that can help reflect the direction I want to head in the coming year, a single word that can give my year a theme or a recognizable flavor.

That’s it. Simple, right? A bit cheesy? Maybe. But I figured it was worth a try. And maybe, just maybe, it might manage to inspire. So here goes…

My Three Roses (greatest strengths, success, accomplishments of this past year):
1. Blog/Writing:

This blog, which I started near the middle of this year, is the first rose on my list not because it is exceptional or unique (which it is not), but rather for what it represents. After years of trying (and failing) to find an outlet to push myself to write, this blog has finally motivated me to actually begin to move some of the fragmented pieces that have been languishing in the dusty corners of my computer shelf and into some sort of public space where I can at least pretend to feel accountable. I admit, this blog remains the product of much anxiety, and the motivating theme of “finding me at 40” has been an intentional and intensely personal effort to try and make some sense of this anxiety. But more importantly, it reflects a place to start, most notably in the opportunity it has given me to reflect backwards on the stuff of my forming years that has helped make me who I am today. Hopefully, it also reflects a place to grow, and the fact that I am still investing in it as we turn the page on another calendar year seems a hopeful sign that the effort and investment is actually working.

2. Reading Challenges:
I love film, but my first love is reading.

I grew up with books, and there is little that has managed to define me more over the years than the simple fact that I am almost always found carrying a book (sometimes two, sometimes three or more). I have, however, had a rocky relationship with reading over the years. While a film only demands a few hours of investment, giving time to a good book over the days, weeks, and sometimes even months that it takes to finish is tough at this point in my life. It has become easier and easier to fall off the bandwagon, and when I do fall off the bandwagon with reading, usually I fall off pretty hard.

But thankfully I always seem to find a way to pick myself back up, usually against the allure of a promising and familiar title. And when I do find my way back into the zone, it is often hard to stop me from reading.

When I thought about this rose, I immediately recognized the correlation between reading and the rest of my life. When I am not finding time to read it usually means one of two things- I am far too busy or I am in an anxiety/depression funk- neither of which are beneficial to the relationships around me. When I am reading it usually means I am pacing myself, managing my anxiety/depression, and thus more invested in the relationships around me as well.

I am in my third year of successfully participating in the Goodreads Reading Challenge, which means keeping a reading schedule through the course of the year. While I would certainly consider that a rose there is more to this picture as well.

This past year, I started to experiment with being more intentional with what I read and how I read, expanding the challenge to include some more personally inspired goals (of reading a variety of books) and purposed driven trends (of connecting themes). Looking back over my catalog for the past year (thank you Goodreads for helping me to catalog my reading schedule with such ease) has allowed me to see some of the smaller trends that have emerged from this process and which have helped shape my growth and development in 2016. For example, I got interested in the idea of happiness, and so I devoted a good deal of time to books on the subject, and have been rewarded with a greater understanding of the subject and how to apply it to my life more directly.

It is the fact that this year reflects some successive, and even some more intentional, investment in reading that puts this as the second Rose on my list.

3. Patience
If there is a title that has often been associated with me in my past, it likely would be the term “eternal optimist”. I haven’t done well at living into this in the past while, but one thing that I think I have adopted is patience.

There are times when life calls for pro-action, and affords opportunity that is there for the taking. Then there are times when it calls for waiting and listening and watching. I am grateful that life has called me to the latter, as this past year has not given me the energy that I would need for the former. But it hasn’t come easy.
The reason why patience is a challenge for me is that when I am sitting it usually means I am obsessing. Thus my anxiety. This is not a good thing for someone with anxiety. But this year I have managed to combat some of these obsessive tendencies, at least a little bit, and have managed to fill my time with some things that can enhance my waiting. And what am I waiting for? I’m not sure, but a part of the process of this year has been attempting to figure that out, and I think the attempting is a part of what encourages me to place this as a Rose.

My Three Thorns- the three greatest struggles of the past year

1. Social Relationships:
No question about it, this is my biggest thorn of the past year. Turning 40 has helped me realize just how few social relationships I have as I slide into the midway mark of my life. There are many reasons for this, some within my control and some outside of my control, some of which I am responsible for, some of which I am not.

The truth is, I made a promise (to myself and to my family) this past year that I would try to build back into my life some recognizable and strong social connections. For the most part I have fallen short. A tough year, growing anxiety and sheer reality that building social relationships is not an easy thing have all played a factor. Add to this my desire to build back into my life a well-balanced picture of social relationships (which would include an older mentor, peer relationships, a younger relationship that I can invest in, supportive relationships) and the picture begins to look even bleaker.

2. Managing my Anxiety:
I have actually made a lot of progress in this area, to be fair. But it still sits high on the list of thorns, and I wouldn’t be surprised (if I continue this ROSEBUD practice in years to come) if it always makes this list. It is a struggle that will always be there., even if it manifests in different ways from year to year.

If I can narrow it down to this year, the main struggle in my life has been consistency. I failed to keep up therapy or counseling- I started, I stopped, I started again and I stopped again- and more often than not I have allowed the day to day struggle to drain my energy. Most days it is simply easier to give into the negativity that anxiety tends to produce.

3. Fatherhood

I know, this is going to sound like an exercise in self-pity/self-depreciation. But it is not intended as that. It is just supposed to be truthful. There remains truth to the fact that I have failed (in a myriad of ways) in this experiment called fatherhood this year. And my number one struggle? Dealing with a lack of self-confidence.

A few things happen when you allow a lack of confidence to rule the day. It causes the emotional rollercoaster of parenting a teenage son (with the rejection, the attitude and the creeping rebellion) to feel far too personal, and, secondly, it causes parenting to become more about my insecurities than his needs.

To add to this, my number two struggle when it comes to fatherhood is knowing how to manage the marriage of my anxiety and my parenting. When I am not managing it well, which most days I do not, is that I either end up controlling or I end up shutting down, neither of which are healthy reactions. Add to this the lack of supportive social connections in our life (when it comes to outside support for parenting a teen), and it becomes a tough cycle to try and maintain.

My Three Buds- Three things I plan to bud into Roses for next year

1. More Focused Writing

What I hope to do this year is begin to bring a greater sense of focus to my blog. I have a few projects that I have been working on for a while (in those dusty corners of the computer), and I hope to incorporate them in a way that can help define some next parts of this journey for me.

I also hope to start to make it more accessible. I recognize this means shorter blogs and more relatable topics. We will have to wait to see how that goes. I am a man of few words… until I start writing.

Much of what I wrote over the course of 2016 was an attempt for me to make sense of my past. I hope to write more about what I am learning in the here and now this year.

2. Take the Small Steps

I have such a hard time with investing in the small steps. And yet, one of the great frustrations of this past year was the feeling of being stuck in the mud (in a lot of respects). We had plans, but very little of what was hoped for managed to come to fruition over the course of this year.
What I hope to bud this year is some smaller investments that are, hopefully, more achievable- getting rid of 15% of our debt, giving a small percentage more, finding a place to give of my time where I feel like I have something to offer, taking smaller trips that are more manageable and achievable and sustainable for where we are as a family… which leads me to number 3…

3. Travel
Everyone knows I love to travel. This past year I resigned to armchair traveling.

This year my hope is to bud this into some ideas that can fit for us a family (which means finding places and ideas that can reaches a consensus with everyone), that are manageable and sustainable, and that can provide memories.
I have a few ideas that I think can work, but more importantly, here is to seeing them come to fruition.

One Word to define my year

TIME

Learning to Live in La La Land

imagesWonderfully nostalgic and gloriously choreographed, La La Land presents itself as a love letter to a Hollywood golden age, a time past when musicals were written for the screen and production numbers were full of Tinseltown glamor. For a sense of reference, there is an interview that admits the movie’s appreciation of That Thing You Do, and we can even see some odes to that film sprinkled in along the way (watch for an appearance by an actor in that film, and similar blue backdrop).

I might think that anyone would be hard pressed to resist this film’s charm and toe-tapping energy (evening considering those I know who hate musicals with a passion), but the true wonder of the film actually lies in its ability to masquerade as a rather complex and affecting human drama, a drama that uses the music to enhance it rather than simply accentuating the musical itself.

It might be easy to miss the fact that La La Land is Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone’s third film together (Crazy, Stupid, Love and Gangster Squad), but it would certainly be near impossible to deny their ever-growing chemistry. The young actors light up the screen with their unpolished voices and humble dispositions, managing to strike an imperfect balance between the charisma of song and dance and the ongoing development of their characters. The fact that they don’t have the perfect voices adds a sense of raw honesty to the picture that makes it all the more enjoyable and allows the magic of the set to feel all the more real.imgres

La La Land is definitely not your average rom-com, and director Damien Chazelle (Whiplash) uses a raw and uncalculated approach to colour the movie with an irresistible charm. For example, there is a rather large portion of the film (in the middle) that is absent of any music at all, and within the musical portions he uses the power of music to layer the unconventional love story with a rather bold mix of melancholy and romance that filters between realism and the fantastical. It allows the story to move fluidly between both realms and allows the musical numbers to provide the film with a sense of place and purpose (as opposed to just spontaneously breaking out into song).

The film opens with a busy (but memorable) musical number set on an L.A. freeway, and then abruptly slows down the pace as we narrow in on the intersecting stories of Mia (Stone) and Sebastian (Gosling) from their unique perspectives as a part of the Hollywood culture. The film grounds itself in the L.A. landscape from the get-go, and becomes a rather endearing love letter to its storied past, something that also gives us context for the love story we find in the main characters.

As their stories merge, we find their relationship filled with interesting dynamics and twists and turn that really digs underneath what it means to give ourselves to these relationships whole-heartedly in a world that is also vying for out attention.

These two Hollywood hopefuls share a similar struggle, caught somewhere between their dream and their reality, and eventually find mutual admiration through giving time that exists in the space in between to understanding each others story (with the help of the dazzling romance of the L.A. lights that provides the backdrop). And as they each eventually aspire to turn their dream into reality, it quickly becomes clear that with this relationship also comes a new and unexpected reality, which is the fact that their burgeoning relationship is also beginning to re-orient their dreams towards the needs of each other. In the context of this unexpected love story, this requires them to consider (or reconsider) what it means to exist in this shared relationship. imgres-1

At its heart the film is about the choices we make and how those choices carry consequence, positive and/or negative. Much the same as we find in the film Brooklyn, another memorable story about love from this year, the nature of “choice” is described in La La Land as a process in which we must always be brave enough to celebrate one path while grieving another. This is what it means to choose.

For example, in the case of Sebastian, he makes the choice to take a full time music gig, a choice that sacrifices both his passion for the music he actually wants to play and the relationship he desires to give himself whole-heartedly to (and that is also continuing to invest in him).

And while the film is about choice, it is also about the importance of passion. Sebastian’s neglect to fuel his passion for old-school jazz directly affects the passion he has for the relationship with Mia. In a wonderfully emotional scene, Mia encourages him not give up on his passion for jazz, which in a very real sense also becomes a plea not to neglect his passion for her as well. This is what happens in a shared relationship, is that our true passion becomes the other in our life, and we share in their passions as well. As as she so poignantly states, by learning to love him she has also learned to love jazz, but it is also by learning to appreciate his passion for jazz that she has been able to grow a passion for him as well.

What breathes a sense of irony into Sebastion’s story is that he remains so desperate to be seen as someone who is successful, so desperate that he is willing to lose a piece of who he is. But in the process, he ends up neglecting the one person who has accepted him for exactly who he is.
imgres-3

In this same sense, Mia makes the choice, under the encouragement of Gosling, to pursue her own dream of becoming an actor, but eventually comes up against her own struggle with self-depreciating thoughts. It is her inability to see see herself as worthwhile and confident enough to act according to her strengths that causes her to lose her sense of passion, and it is this absence of passion that ends up keeping her from being able to fight for the relationship that she values so deeply.

And here we arrive at the rather bittersweet nature of the narrative. Instead of finding their identity in one another, and instead of finding their purpose in encouraging each other towards becoming the best versions of themselves that they can be, they end up searching for their worth outside of themselves. The tragedy of the story is that this causes them to miss opportunities to truly see themselves through each other’s eyes as well (some foreshadowing we are given in the early going as Sebastian abruptly brushes past Mia instead of stopping to hear her words of encouragement). And so we gain a picture, a rather magical picture in-fact, of the characters slowly drifting apart as the story moves forward. So slowly in-fact that the surprising and unsettling finish, which we should see coming, ends up hard to predict. And yet, it is this slow process that is what allows the viewer to truly appreciate the conflicting emotions that the ending does create:

It is time which slows down when they are together. It is also the slowness of time which pushes them apart. It is a rather beautifully rendered final scene that reminds the two characters that life could have been different if they had made different choices. Life could have been different had they learned to share in their passions rather than isolate themselves at the each others expense. Life could have different if they had made use out of the slowness and learned to cherish the momentary magic of simply giving time to looking into each others eyes.  But the painful truth of time is that they can’t go back and change the past, they can only choose to live differently moving forward. This is what it means for the characters, as they say, to grow up.

As both characters eventually reemerge from this slow-drifing, they find themselves right back where they started, only this time carrying the consequence of their choices and the baggage of this missed time. And this is ultimately where Mia and Sebastian can teach us something about moving forward together or apart. Relationships push and pull us between the competing forces of understanding who we are as an individual and understanding who we are becoming together. It is when we let go on one side or the other that we stand in danger of losing sight of what the relationship can be. In La La Land’s most melancholy moments we are reminded that we cannot live together in isolation. In it’s most romantic ideals, we are reminded that we need not feel isolated when we make the effort to learn how to live together.

“Look at the view, ” Mia says as they stand overlooking the lights of L.A..

“I’ve seen better,” Sebastian responds. imgres-2

This small exchange manages to capture the heart of La La Lands mix of melancholy and romance better than any other scene in the film. The truth is relationships are messy. Life is messy. It very rarely looks the way we imagine it should when we are blinded by love. But it is when we embrace the messiness and acknowledge the struggle of the shared space these relationships create, that we also give ourselves the freedom to open our eyes and experience what lies beyond the romance of the lights as well. And there is great worth in opening our eyes to see and enter into the bigger picture of what a wholly formed love really is, and often the bigger picture ends up much more beautiful and worthwhile than we could have ever imagined from the momentary sidelines. Mia and Sebastian caught a glimpse of what this could have been for them, and it was enough to change their perspective on what was possible moving forward, offering a bit of joy amidst the grief, a bit of music in the mundane, a bit of hope in the broken, a bit of dancing in the rain.

And having just had the privilege of celebrating 12 years with the one who won me over all those years ago, La La Land was a good reminder to me that love is an investment that is worth more than anything this world has to offer.

2017: THE STUFF I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN THE YEAR AHEAD

Time to turn the page on a new year. So what I am looking forward to in 2017?

BIRTHDAYS AND TRAVEL (and hopefully some ice cream and gluten free cake to top it all off)
Travel in 2017 is all about celebrating the birthdays:
1. Canada’s 150th Birthdayimgres

If you haven’t had the opportunity to head East, this is the year to do it. No better place to be than near (and around) the Nations capital, our largest city. And hey, while you’re at it, head further East. If you ask me, it is the East that gives Canada it’s true character.

  1. Nashville’s Music Celebration

From the Blue Bird to the Country Music Hall of Fame, Nashville is rolling out a music celebration this year as many of their most noted venues and museums are celebrating milestones. Voted as one of the top destinations for 2017, I hope to finally have the opportunity to see Music City up close and in person.imgres

  1. Nebraska’s 150th Birthday

On my list of failed attempts in 2016 was an effort to complete a visit through the mid-west. 2017 seems like as good a time as any to try again. Lincoln has made a few top travel imgres-2destination lists for this year, and they are rolling out the party parade in style.


STEPHEN KING AND THE SMALL SCREEN/BIG SCREEN TREATMENT

The Dark Tower is coming to the big screen this year, but the bigger news is the small screen series that will eventually accompany it. This means that 2017 is the year to catch up on Stephen King’s much heralded series.

And oh, did I mention that 2017 will also see a reboot of Stephen King’s IT? A good year for horror fans, and a good year to catch up with 2016’s 11/22/63. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that I have yet to see the series, but excited to put it at the top of my must-see list in the new year.

MORE SUPERHEROES

I am trying to resist. It feels unnecessary. It feels like overkill. It feels like exhaustion. But I can’t help myself. The upcoming Spiderman reboot has lured me in. I just can’t help myself.
imgres-5
Beyond the superhero exhaustion, there are actually some still welcome tonics on the list for 2017: A Guardians of the Galaxy sequel, a much more promising installment into the D.C. big screen universe (Wonder Woman… that trailer still rocks no matter how many times I view it), a new Kingsman film (I don’t know how I managed to miss the first film. Finally caught up with it this year and loved it) and, of course, Lego Batman.

Add to this the promising creative approach of X-Men: Legacy (February 9th on Fox) , and there is plenty of choice for those of us intent on avoiding Netflix’s latest entry into the overwrought Daredevil/Jessica Jones/Luke Cage/Punisher universe.


MORE SCI-FI NOSTALGIA
Okay, so Star Wars has officially moved past the “nostalgia” and into the modern era of it’s recreated, Disney led renaissance. But just to hear the words “Star Wars: Episode 8” still makes my childhood inner-self a little more than giddy.

Add to this the upcoming Star Trek series and the newest films in what has so far been a fantastic remaking of the Planet of the Apes franchise along with a questionable but possibly intriguing new Alien film, 2017 should be a good year for popular Sci-Fi


WILLY WONKA RE-IMAGINED… ON BROADWAY
imgres
Yep, it’s true, all that chocolate and candy goodness is making it’s sweet premier in 2017. If ever there was a good excuse to get back to NYC (and let’s be honest, I don’t really need an excuse to get back to my favorite city) it would be this.

CAN TOM KIRKMAN SURVIVE A NEW JACK BAUER: A SHOWDOWN TAILOR MADE FOR THE SMALL SCREEN
For me, this is the most intriguing match up of the t.v. universe this winter: Designated Survivor’s Tom Kirkman set against 24: Legacy’s Eric Carter. imgres-11

Sutherland has been intent on shedding his old character’s image, but it will be interesting to see, given that the shows share the same network, if Kirkman manages to survive into the fall as Legacy tries to re-capture some of that old Kiefer magic. I know I’ll be watching intently. imgres-12

NINTENDO SWITCH… AND THAT OTHER SYSTEM.

nintendoswitch_hardware-0-0I am not a gamer, but that doesn’t mean I can resist all-things Mario. When the Switch comes out I won’t ever have to resist it again, because I can bring it with me in all of it’s glory. Add a new Zelda to the picture and this becomes an easy sell. Now if only I can find time to actually play…

And oh yeah, I supposed the X-Box Scorpio is worth a mention in 2017 as well. There are really only two things I care about on X-Box- Madden and Fable. But with the release of Scorpio means lower prices for the X-Box One, which means the possibility of an upgrade from our 360. I can get on-board with that in 2017.

A WAFFLING TREND?
For anyone who has considered the idea of putting foods “other” than waffles in a waffle maker and thought it was somewhat ingenious, the existence of the trend can assure that your (or my) idea is definitely not unique. But a trend also means more available creative ideas, possibilities, and recipes. This is good for everyone, and given that a waffle maker was a family gift to ourselves this year, I say bring it on 2017. images


STRANGER THINGS 2

I hate binge-watching. Yep, I said it. I strongly dislike nearly everything binge watching stands for- a diminishing of patient t.v. watching, over-saturation of shows, the absence of prolonged show development and discussion, immediate satisfaction with no long term investment. I could go on, but I know I am in the minority.

Binge-Watching will not be on the things I am most looking forward to in 2017, but Stranger Things 2 will be. And I just might be willing to force myself to succumb to my family’s insistence on binge watching it too. Begrudgingly of course, but willingly, for the sake of Stranger Things of course.season-2-stranger-things

RELIGIOUS METAPHOR, THE OLD WEST, AND A SPRAWLING SAGA
I am of course referring to The Son, a book by Philipp Meyer that has been adapted for a promising new scripted series on AMC. imgres-13I loved the book, and I think it Is perfectly suited to the small screen treatment. I know I’ll be watching.

AND SPEAKING OF BOOKS!

Always something new on my to-read list, and 2017 is no exception. Here are the titles that are near the top:

The Day the Revolution Began by N.T.Wright.– Always a major player in the world of developing theology, Wright’s newest work picks up where Suprised By Hope and Surprised by Scripture left off… which means more paradigm-shifting approaches to understanding the Christian Gospel.

Making Sense of God by Timothy Keller– another major player in the world of popular (and serious) theology, in this case tackling the idea of the modern apologetic. Great stuff for the skeptic and skeptic at heart.

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin– Based on popular recommendation I couldn’t say no to this newest entry into the world fantasy writing.

Time Travel by James Gleick– A history of time travel? Yes please.

Silence by Shusaku Endo– Scorsese has renewed my interest in this spiritual journey, and here’s to finishing it just in time for the film to reach Canadian soil.

Hollow City by Ransom Riggs– the first book, Peculiar Children, intrigued but underwhelmed me. I have heard positive things about the sequel. Looking forward to diving in and giving the world another shot.

AND ONE LAST THING

The Good Wife was a family favorite around our house, at least for my wife and I. It’s absence as left a void. Here’s to hoping that The Good Fight (a Good Wife spin-off) can re-scratch that itch.

imgres-14

Looking Back at 2016: A Year of Pop Culture Favourites

I’m a little bit late to the game, but… it’s that time again. The time of year when top (ten/twenty/100) lists can be found in abundance. Time to reflect on the year that was. Time to look forward to the year that will be. And time to celebrate (of course) the stuff of pop culture that managed to entertain me, challenge me, occupy my mind, and move me over the course of the past year.

I must confess, I look forward to these lists every year.
This year, I am sticking with the tried and true process of a Top 20 list of books, movies, and music that stood out for me, albeit with a couple caveats. First, I did not restrict my entire list to projects that were released in 2016. Rather it is a reflection of what I actually read, watched or listened to this year, regardless of release date. Secondly, there are a host of movies, books and t.v. that I am certain would be solid candidates to make my top list which I have yet to see (including Rougue One, Moonlight, Loving, Fences, Manchester By the Sea… just to name a few).

So with that in mind, here is my list, some of which surprised me, some of which followed a theme, all of which happened to stand out for me for one reason or another!

wicked-river20. Wicked River: The Mississippi When It Last Ran Wild by Lee Sandlin (book)

Having taken the opportunity to travel the GRR (Great River Road) three years ago, I have since been immersing myself in material that can help me understand it’s culture and history from a more informed perspective (our trip left me fascinated by the River). The book “Wicked River” managed to strike the perfect balance of history and folklore, lesser known stories and big picture context. Having just spent time getting used to Twain’s more anecdotal and literary “Life on the Mississippi”, it was refreshing to engage with Sandlin’s camp-fire approach, whom seems content in getting lost with a few side trips, exploring the nooks and crannies of the river itself while having a rollicking good time in doing it.

Sandlin tells a river tale that includes everything from pirates to earthquakes, sieges, a tragic boat-sinking (that was shockingly forgotten by the pages of history), and a once vibrant river life that is absolutely contagious in his retelling.

Lee gives mention of course to the influence of Twain on the romanticizing of the river’s lore, a man who gave the river relevance in the American landscape, but he notes that much of Twain’s memoir is colored by sentiments of a river that once was, a result of his return to the Mississippi in the aftermath of its heyday. Lee is interested, rather, in painting a truer picture of the river in it’s prime, and the most fascinating part of the book is the way he puts us up close and personal to the river (and it’s past) itself, a river that, for those who once navigated it in the early years of America, was a living, breathing and ever-changing entity, a character in the story that that not only protects some of the most fascinating moments in American history, but brings with it memories of adventure and the thrill of those who navigated it. And as Sandlin shows, the river’s past might be gone, but the river’s future is still ripe to be written.

19. Sia- This is Acting
landscape-sia-this-is-acting-1

In a world saturated with pop music of all kinds, Sia continues to prove why she is still a major player in the game. Most noted about this recent release is that it feels a lot more fun and upbeat than her previous, and (in my humble opinion) a more complete record as a whole. It is a change in tone, and it works rather well at showing another side of the multi-faceted artist. Sia is an honest to goodness musician with a wealth of talent to bring to the table.

The album might lose a bit of steam before we arrive at the final track, but there are plenty of hooks and relevant themes to be found between the pages. Definitely one of the more worthwhile albums of 2016.

Honorable Mention: Adele-25
Her new album dropped with much fanfare, and although her stardom might have it’s share of critics, there is no denying that Adele, much like Sia, continues to demonstrate the wealth of her talent. There are several standout songs on the album, including the initial single “Hello” (overplayed but still breathless and timeless). I admit, I have gotten quite a bit of playtime out of this one over the course of the year.


18. NOS4A2 by Joe Hill (book)

I was introduced to Hill as “Stephen King’s son”. NOS4A2 helped introduce me to “Hill” the writer. imgres-1The guy brings his own style to the table, and this book provided me with the perfect way to pass the time between the seasons of Halloween and Christmas. The book is unique, if bizarre, but most notably I found it really hard to put down. For every turn of the page he invested me a little bit more into his twisted vision of Holiday horror. His knack for character and the flow is impressive. While not technically a 2016 release, this is the book that now has me anticipating his most recent release, The Fireman, which is now just a few months old.


17. 10 Cloverfield Lane (film)

This was actually a pick that surprised me. The biggest reason 10 Cloverfield Lane makes it on to my top 20 is because of the way the film managed to pave it’s own path, arriving with little in the way of advertisement (and actually intentionally advertised as a different film altogether), and the way it manages to be a (not really sequel) that is something entirely different than it’s predecessor. imgres-3That and it is worth considering both the performance of Goodman and the film’s anything can happen direction, two elements of the film that make it worthwhile. It is darkly humorous, but not overly dark. Fun but serious and introspective, tense but not brooding. And the subtle attention to detail (especially in the secluded setting) is fantastic. Classified as a horror film, likely more of a thriller, 10 Cloverfield Lane was one of my favorites of the year, and the short running time has me appreciating it all the more.

 

16. Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy With God by Timothy Keller (book)
imgres
Every so often I seem to arrive at a place in my life where the subject of prayer re-emerges. Usually this renewed interest accompanies a transition or a circumstance, and this year has been no exception.

The last time I found myself in this place I ended up picking up Yancey’s “Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference?”, a philosophical exercise that exposes Prayer as an intently human struggle. In Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy With God, Keller is upfront with his frustration that the current collection of available work on prayer tend towards specialized interests rather than a complete and holistic exposition of the topic in it’s full philosophical, theological, mystical, liturgical, contemplative and practical setting. This is the book he desires to write, and it is very easy to feel like he is writing it more for himself than anyone else.

Keller’s prayer makes my list not because it is a ground-breaking theological work (it is good, but it is certainly not exceptional), but rather because it left its mark on my spirit over the course of this year. I have always had a complicated relationship with the idea of prayer, and certainly, in terms of prayer as a spiritual practice, I have found it incredibly challenging to adapt in a serious and committed way. I am not good at understanding it, nor at embracing it wholeheartedly in my own life, and yet, as I look back over all of the figures and relationships that litter my own history, some of those whom I respect the most I would consider among the great “prayers” of my world.

What Keller opened up for me is just how vulnerable the practice of prayer really is. It is easier to consider spirituality and theology as a construct and an intellectual exercise, but much more difficult to enter into the practice of prayer, a practice that requires our theology to submit to a certain degree of personal abandon. Prayer humbles us. Prayer expects that who we are praying to and what we are praying for can make a difference. And prayer makes us honest, calling us to put all of our cards on the table, and to submit all of our struggle with selfless and selfish motivations, to this difference making relationship.

Above all though, it was Keller’s unashamed commitment to a practical approach to prayer that really stuck with me. Ideas like morning devotions can sometimes feel like suggestions from an outdated past, certainly when theological discourse and intellectual exercise have taken the front row seat for so long. And yet this is precisely where Keller leads the reader, freeing us up to engage in the devotional life without fear of abandoning our sense of theological integrity. Further, as Keller admits that “prayer must be one of the hardest things in the world”, he moves into an examination of the different approaches to prayer (mystical, prophetic, practical) with a sharp exposition on the power and place of the spoken word as the most unique aspect of the “Christian” practice. This is what turns the “theology” of prayer into “experience” of a living God. This is what moves the inward tendency of meditation towards the outward flow of liturgy. It is the spoken word that keeps prayer from merely being self-reflective, and it is the spoken word that makes it active, even in the face of the challenging circumstances that might make it feel inactive.

This was a two-fold learning for me: first, that I am not good at verbal discourse, and even less good at verbal-discourse with God. Keller not only helps give added weight to the place of liturgy to aid us in the formation of this verbal-discourse, but he also helps show me that it is not how we speak (or how well), but it is that we speak that remains the most important. In a tough year for many (it would seem), this is a good reminder. In a tough year for me, this idea has been life changing.

imgres-1
15. The Witch (film)
Perhaps the most impressive element of The Witch is the fact that it is a directorial debut and a low budget drama that also managed to inspire so much great conversation. A glorious example of a period piece done well, the film is an intimate look at a 17th century Puritan family struggling to find their way as a family in a new land after being expelled from their community and being relegated to face their fears alone.

The film is a wonderful mix of layers, both as an introspective spiritual reflection and a genuine family drama, even as it delights in representing itself as a bonafide horror film. But what remains most intriguing, especially in its more intimate portrayals, is the way the film uses the theme of forgiveness to move us back and forth between the family dynamics and the individual struggle, and then ultimately outwards onto their forming perception of God and the devil, good and evil. It is a powerful exposition that sets us on a journey towards coming to terms with forgiveness when distrust and uncertainty begin to falter. imgres-2

As crops start to fail, animals begin to fall, and some of the children begin to disappear, we are only ever given a glimpse of the evil that appears to be pushing in from the outside and that seems to be tearing them up on the inside. Instead, the director points us towards the individual’s own sense of desperation as they fight to carry on with a sense of normalcy even as the threat of winter continues to loom on the horizon and the family seems to be falling apart. The glimpses of evil that we are given sat with me and festered and formulated, and by the time I reached the shocking ending, I found myself just sitting and staring at the screen in silence. For a period piece, much of the introspection and many of the prominent spiritual themes present in this film have an uncanny sense of timelesness. The family dynamics represent something more than just an outdated religious worldview, and the struggle of sin and forgiveness feel as relevant now as it was in their Puritan context. This is all a part of what allows The Witch to remain so memorable and earn a top pick of the year on my list.

 

14. The Brave by Nicholas Evans (book)imgres-4
Ultimately The Brave is about the ways we tell our stories, and the lies and the truth that can get muddied along the way. On the surface is the essential mystery that unfolds in the early going as Tommy’s character kind of gets upended in an unexpected fashion. Underneath this is the ensuing relationships between the different characters that all have a past and all hold secrets in some form, secrets that cause them to struggle with the truth.

It is the muddied middle ground between the lie and the truth that leads us to a somewhat bittersweet conclusion in the story, and ultimately it is about the ways we learn to confront and deal with this muddied middle ground within our own selves as well, understanding that every choice we make writes our story in a certain way, and that in making these choices often timing is everything in determining one path over another. Being brave in the end is about making these choices even when we fear making the wrong one.

imgres-5
Sharing a similar setting with another book I read this year, The Son (The Old American West) and a similar theme with Beautiful Ruins (the move from home to Hollywood), The Brave manages to avoid the heavy religious and literary symbolism of those aforementioned novels in exchange for good old-fashioned storytelling. As the writer of The Horse Whisperer, this is a book on my list that helped renew my interest in an author I had forgotten I really enjoyed.

 

 
13. Walkable City: How Downtown Can Save America, One Step at a Time by Jeff Speck (book)
imgres
The reason Walkable City makes my list is rather simple- It transformed so much of the way I view cities (and the architecture and city planning that shapes our cities) that I can never look at a city in the same way again. It is a book that, after reading, I immediately wanted to share with others, but also a book that is rather likely to foster some level of angst and hostility for some. Frankly, his ideas for how we shape our cities are challenging on the surface (primarily in the way it challenges our view of the automobile and road construction), but in reality (underneath the surface) also liberating and incredibly sensible underneath.

I paired this book with another one titled Crabgrass Frontier by Kenneth Jackson, another book that tackles the subject of urban development, but Walkable City was by far the more accessible and entertaining.

I will likely never hear the word “traffic study” again without the need to respond with an eye roll, and, to be honest, since reading this book I find myself seeing it’s criticisms and possibilities at virtually ever intersection of our city that I pass by. What Speck does is unveil how city-planning works, why it works and how it can encourage us in one direction or another. For Speck, successful cities don’t allow one entity to have a monopoly, and successful cities allow themselves to maintain a good amount of shared space, which comes through adapted architecture, safe and interesting landscape, and the presence of diversity.

Walkable City fuelled my love of the city, and it helped me to see the city in a whole new light. It’s something that I think will continue to add to my joy of experiencing new places, along with re-experiencing the place in which I live, as well.

 

 

 

12. Norah Jones: Day Breaksimgres-1
If I am honest, I had a hard time with Jones’ previous release, Little Broken Hearts. It’s good, but I found it a decidedly inventive and experimental turn in what has arguably been a calculated journey away from her jazz roots.

Day Breaks feels like a return to her earlier career, familiar and jazzy, but at the same time pushes the boundaries of that persona at the same time in more comfortable ways. It takes the jazzy undertones that she excels at and surrounds it with some funk notes and pop music structures. It does bog down in the middle, but the songs on either end manage to showcase what I love about Jones’ style, and she is willing to change it up with some toe tapping moments, some feel good melodies, and some soothing soul along with way.

 

 
11. Sing Street (film)

If you haven’t seen Sing Street yet, see it. I’ll be honest, I was not the biggest fan of Once, a previous and popular work from director John Carney, but Sing Street (a bigger budget and more polished narrative) was so infectious it was impossible not to include it on this list. Whereas Once seemed to be telling a story from the outside looking in, Sing Street seems to be flowing out of the directors own inner experience.imgres
Sing Street might be about the power of music, but I think even more so it is about the power of creating and creativity in helping us deal with the challenges of life. It might be about self-expression and finding yourself, especially as Conor is coming of age, but even more so it is about the connections that this creating can develop. In a world where the two polarazing social ends of home and school appear repressive and challenging and isolating, it is the healing power of the social relationship and community that he finds in the middle ground.

 

This is a film that can remind us that we are not alone in our struggles, and do so by helping to put a smile on our face at the same time. One of the best films of 2016.

 

 
10. The Awakening of Hope by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove (book)

imgres-2.jpg
This is the kind of book, like Walkable City, that I immediately wanted to read again in the company of others once I finished it, albeit with a focus on spiritual development rather than urban development (although I won’t lie, for me two worlds often meet).

What is funny about this book, is that I had just finished The Wisdom of Stability by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove before reading Awakening of Hope, but I never realizeed they were written by the same author. “Wisdom…” was my introduction to the New Monastic movement, and after realizing the two books shared an author, I was shocked I didn’t catch the connection earlier.

What I love about this book is the way it steers clear of a spiritual to-do list, and instead focuses on the question of why. Why do we believe and why do we engage in the particular Christian practices that we do? In looking at the question why, it then probes the nature of hope as a distinctly faith-driven proposition.

The book makes my list because, far from an apologetic, it is a faith-forming exercise that poked at some of the struggles I personally carried through this year. Hope is an evasive exercise, and yet Hartgrove shows the exercise (in a sort of catechism of sorts) can provide a way of re-awakening it on a daily basis. He represents why the New Monastic approach can be so enriching, and as one of the top books I read this year, it definitely enriched my own sense of faith and hope.

 

 

9 The Gates of Europe by Serhii Plokhii (book)imgres

This is by far the best book on Ukrainian History that I have encountered. It pushes boundaries, dispels myths, challenges perspective, and helps bring proper definition and life to a problematic and suffering Ukrainian heritage. One of the most important books I have read this year, as it helped me to really understand my recent journey in Ukraine.

Ukraine, it is clear, is both a special and important place in our global story. And although the relationship between memory and recorded history is difficult, what remains clear is that the people of Ukraine continue to inspire many of us (in other nations around the world) to take our own histories more seriously. This is true for the latest contests for Ukrainian land, and it was true long before they became an official nation, and this book is a helpful and timely reminder of this truth.

 

 

8. Sho Baraka: The Narrative (music)

Sho Baraka is a great rapper, but more so he is a smart writer. He interweaves a strong theological disposition with intelligent grooves and rhythms, and manages to prove why he is a welcome voice in the hip-hop genre. He keeps from being type-cast, stays far from generic, and stays intently eclectic in his approach. It all comes together to create one of the best albums of the year.
imgres-1

Honorable Mention: Lecrae- Church Clothes 3 (music)
Once a game changer who sat at the crossroads of faith and hip-hop, Lecrae remains as relevant as ever for blurring these lines and challenging our perceptions of what the “Christian” artist really looks like. This is mostly because he continues to offer a great product. It is his unabashed honesty that keeps him at the forefront, and he is as willing as ever to speak to a mix of faith and social issues without abandon. Add to this a record full of great groves and his recognizable style, and he continues to shape the music scene for the better.

 

 

 

7. Sully (film)
Sully is one of my more surprising picks on this list. I have enjoyed Eastwood’s direction in the past, but I did not expect Sully to represent one of his best works in recent memory. The way he takes a familiar story and infuses it with such a strong sense of perspective leads to a film that is compelling as an experiment in story-telling method. It also manages to be unexpectedly intense, as Eastwood uses Sully’s personal perspective (as the captain dealing with the trauma of the experience) to heighten our sense of the tension. In doing this, the competing forces of being hailed as a hero on one hand while also being put on trial for a failure to do his job (a fact that sets his retirement, his life, his family and his career in the balance), reveals the ebb and flow of the narrative that Eastwood looks to pull out of the near tragedy.

The scenes on the plane are intense and feel all to real, but Eastwood’s real focus reflects the inner journey of Sully himself, as he finds himself being pulled in the direction of the competing forces both on a public and  private level. It is here where Hanks provides Eastwood with one of his most understated and tempered performances of his career, an impressive feat given his star power. A worthy film that might fall under the radar but deserves any attention it can get.

Honorable mention: Eye In the Sky (film)
I wanted to give this one a mention here not because the two films are thematically similar, but rather because they are similar stylistically. They are both shorter films with a similar attention to developing the tension in an upwards fashion.

The film plays out of the point of view of those in their respective military chairs, bringing us in and out of their unique vantage points and revealing the more intimate shots that of the emotional process in light of their individual responsibilities to engage in the kind of war that can change lives from the comfort of their seats. In this sense we get a feel for the sort of distance in relationship that exists between the players and the target, a fact that is intended to leave us uncomfortable and unsettled, not only as we are watching it all unfold in what feels like real time, but also as the film fades from view. This gives us a sense of how all of the different elements, political, personal and moral responsibility, intersect, and it keeps us from being able to come to any sort of clear, cut conclusions about what is right or wrong in the moment.

The whole thing is a breathless ride that explores the impact that such a scary, problematic form of technology brings to one of the most problematic elements of our world. For as much as it is about this technology, it is also incredibly human, something that all of performers embody, with Powell leading the way.

 

 

 

6. Kubo and the Two Strings (film)
It would have been very easy for me to put Zootopia on this list (spoiler alert: it didn’t make it), a sharp social commentary (and also an entertaining animated feature). But it was the spiritual epic Kubo that kept coming back for me.

From the animation studio Laika, the ones who brought us Coraline (one of my favourites) and ParaNorman, Kubo and the Two Strings is yet another example of what great animated art can do when given the freedom to forge it’s own path. The way it fuses two animated styles in order to tell a “story within a story” was ingenious, and it becomes symbolic for how the story is told overall.
imgres-3.jpg

There is no qualifying franchise here, and no feeling that it will brand any unnecessary sequels. What we do sense is it’s ingenuity and honesty. This is a film that is as emotional as it is engaging, an interesting study of how we interpret Eastern mysticism through our Western eyes (much in the way that Dr. Strange does as well).

There is a haunting presence to the way the film plays with our senses of what is real and what is not. There is mystery, even as we push towards a conclusion that leaves us bridging the symbolic with strong sense of emotional realism. It leans on the cultural push towards family over individual, which represents a narrative that leads us less towards the characters themselves and more towards the image of community. This might be feel like an odd trajectory for Western eyes, as we only really get to understand who these people are from the context of their connection to someone else, but I think it offers an approach to storytelling that we can learn from (for those of us speaking from a Western influence). The power of our story comes from creating “our” story together.

Undoubtedly my favorite animated feature of the year.

Honorable Mention: Moana (film)
This is old school Disney with a modern flare. An amazing soundtrack, some solid performances, a less than traditional story, and some great animation anchor this film. It is a feel good experience, and one that I felt was worth every moment.

 

 


imgres-1.jpg
5. NeedtoBreathe- Hard Love (music)

I admit that my engagement of new music this year fell by the wayside, for one reason or another. Out of the handful of new albums that I did manage to pick up, Needtobreathe’s Hard Love definitely is at the top of the list.

Hard Love is an interesting study in the band’s evolution. Musically it pushes away from the familiar melody of previous works and toys with some experimentation (including some more accentuated funk influences and some well placed choir additions). As a whole, the band has quietly made it’s mark on the musical world by keeping the Christian music industry at arm’s length (on one hand), even while their previous, and somewhat surprising, success of “Rivers in the Wasteland” actively blurred this line in it’s upfront, spiritual nature.
It is interesting to note, from a recent interview, that the band perceives “Rivers…” as an effort born out of intense turmoil and emotional disconnection (in their life as a band). It was a record that was written in very short time frame, and, in a stark confessional, was not one of their favorites. According to the band, Hard Love is a clearer picture of who they are as a band, and it returns them to the more subtle world of spiritual metaphor. God is not mentioned in Hard Love, even as the songs remain full of spiritual significance.

Songs like Happiness explore notions of what it means to be forgiven (and to live a forgiven life), while the title track, Hard Love, uses lines like “Trading punches with the heart of darkness” and “You’ve got to burn your old self away.” The rest of the album moves between themes such as grief (Be Here Long) and relationship (When I Sing, No Excuses), but the most revealing song might be the song Money and Fame. There is something honest about the way this song seems to take a look underneath the band’s own personal journey, and seems to push us in the direction of seeing this album as almost autobiographical. How much so is up for speculation, but there is little question that Hard Love is at least committed to being a more honest depiction of the band themselves.


Honorable Mention: Switchfoot: Where The Light Shines Through (music)
Hand in hand with Needtobreathe is the story of Switchfoot. It is no secret that Switchfoot is one of my favorite bands, and Where the Light Shines Through is a welcome addition. It doesn’t live up to Hello Hurricane, still one of the best albums of their career in my opinion, but it brings together a more joyful and positive expression than 2014’s Fading West, something that infuses some bright new dynamics into what is otherwise a traditional mix of Switchfoot anthems and ingenuity.

 

 

 

4. BFG (film)

imgres-2
I have written extensively in this space about BFG earlier in the year, so I will keep this brief, but for as much as BFG seemed to be largely overlooked by audiences this year, the way it harkened me back to Spielberg’s old fashioned commitment to story and the magic of filmmaking stuck with me in very particular way. The film’s imperfections become a part of its charm, and the story is an endearing hold over of the child-hood classics of an age past. The way that a short story is reimagined as a larger and more realized intertwining of worlds (between the giants and the humans) was captivating, and the inspiring picture it creates of the human struggle to belong is emotionally striking. It is one of the more magical films that I saw this year.

Honorable Mention: Pete’s Dragon (film)
Pete’s Dragon remained a contender on this list for reasons similar to BFG. Simple story that is brave enough to use the subtle complexity of the child’s struggle to push us into an un-abandoned sense of joy. For as much as we need films that embrace the darker stuff of life, sometimes we also need more films like this that embraces the happy ending and straight up child-hood wonder. It’s a film about a rather large dragon that keeps simple and small, a film about a powerful creature that is revealed as unexpectedly vulnerable. And it is a story that displays strong religious symbolism (written by Jewish converts to Messianic Judaism) through a dragon who’s real power is the act of becoming invisible, and a kid who faces the challenge of becoming visible. At the heart of the story is not believing in the dragon, but of allowing the existence of the dragon to transform their lives and the way they view the world around them

 

3. Stranger Things (t.v.)

imgres-3
It’s a show that shouldn’t have worked as well as it did, and yet it ended up working so well. There is plenty of theory floating around out in the pop culture universe as to why- the nostalgic factor, the way it redefines the horror genre for the greater public as something other than horror, the simple story.

Whatever it was that allowed this show to connect with viewers this year, one thing is for sure- I’ll be watching season 2.

I should mention, there is one factor that make this show’s presence on my list a legitimate contender. I have been a vocal critic of Netflix’s oversaturation of the market (it can take me a while on any given day to scroll through the numerous entries of Netflix originals that rarely ever prove to be worth my time… unless it is called The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, but even then, season 2 was a bit of a step backwards).

What is strange about Stranger Things is that it succeeds despite the fact that it is not the most well scripted show, it is not hesitant to embrace certain tropes, and it does take some shortcuts in the narrative along the way. All of this gets circumvented though by a story that breathes new life into everything that was great about the storytelling of the 80’s. That it even goes so far to utilize the look and the feel of eighties filmmaking is a part of its charm. It’s a show that has mystery, that’s a lot of fun, is full of childhood adventure, and works for a wide arrange of audience (and so makes for a good family viewing).

Honorable Mentions: This is Us/Timeless
Two other new shows that didn’t quite make my top list but nearly did, This is Us hits all the right emotional marks, while Timeless continues to sit on some great creative potential. Although Timeless has faltered since  it’s first four episodes, This is Us cotinues to go strong. I am still pulling strong for Timeless to really find it’s form, and I will be curious to see what direction it takes in the fall.

 

 

 

2. Once upon A Time (t.v.)
tumblr_nrwpt2ry7q1rgxw63o1_1280
I continue to be a cult-follower of Once Upon a Time, a show that, perhaps defying it’s cult status, was once-upon-a-time the highest rated show (in terms of viewership) on Netflix. It finds a spot on my list largely because of the way it found new inspiration after last season’s less than stellar bump in the road (the underworld had so much more potential than it lived up to in the end).

This season finds the show returning (symbolically, thematically) to season 1, with such intention that I would not be surprised if this is the show’s final goodbye. Thankfully so much of what it managed to do this fall is also a return to what made the earlier seasons so great, including a welcome return to the character of the evil queen.

Honorable Mention: Survivor (t.v.)
No one should be surprised. Survivor definitely qualifies as cult-fan status when it comes to my dedication to the show, and is equally a mainstay for me. I am including the lastest season on this list (Gen-X vs. Millenials) because of the way it took a questionable theme and made it so intriguing, and because this latest season provided one of the best crew of new players in a while and some of the best episodes in recent memory. Further, every once in a while a season comes along that redefines the show for the emerging generation of players. This one qualifies, and it provided plenty of intriguing fodder for the evolution of the show and where it goes from here. Survivor fan for life.

 

 

1. Hail, Caeser (film)

imgres-4
It might not be the Coen Brother’s best work, but it just might be their most personal. Billed as a love letter to Old Hollywood, and Hail, Caeser manages to be a wonderful mix of nostalgia, irreverence, and tribute to the industry that helped shape them. It is a passion project that feels content with the unconventional, pushing us into subplots of subplots and weaving the central existential question of the film, which is about the undercurrents of building moral conviction and understanding right and wrong, with poignant political commentary and an acute awareness of the trappings of the Hollywood financial machine.

Partnered with some inventive performances, the film is interesting, at times incredibly funny and revealing, and, as a love story for those who love the power of story, really helps to unmask why we make and view art (and more specifically film). My favorite film of the year.

 

Why Christmas

At this time of year, it seems inevitable that someone will eventually refer to me as “Mr. Christmas”. It is an unofficial title I have worn willingly since my days as a young child searching intently for Santa to appear around our non-existent fireplace (after all, there was no way Santa would come down through the furnace, right?).

This year though is the first time I have been asked this particular question. What surprised me about this question is the way it left me fumbling for an answer. The fact that the same question came from three different individuals on three separate occasions, and that I failed to answer it well on each of these occasions, certainly added to my level of surprise.

The question was simply this: Why do you enjoy Christmas so much?

My response: Uuhhhhh… well… you see…. There’s the…

As someone who wears the title of Mr. Christmas with some sense of pride, it turns out my ability to describe my innate sense of Christmas spirit was somewhat less articulate than I expected. Which had me thinking, why do I enjoy Christmas?

The Magic of Never Growing Up
I have mentioned elsewhere the impact of growing up and losing some of our old Christmas traditions, especially as my brothers moved out, married and had families of their own. Being the last one to move out of my parent’s house (and get married, and have children) seemed to increase my awareness of the void that this created. It reinforced that, what was once a dependable and familiar celebration was never going to be the same. It was a loss that I didn’t know how to grieve, and probably never really did.

Growing up. At one time I romanticized the idea. And then it happened to me. This is an obvious statement, but it is worth noting that everyone is forced to grow up at some point. Change is one of the constants of life. Another constant is that change is rarely an easy thing. Learning to adapt is the name of the game, and learning to embrace the inevitable is the winning strategy for coping… I have heard these sort of mantras many times over in my grown-up years, and I could go on referencing quite a few more. It hasn’t stopped me from digging in my heels in resistance. Growing up simply seems overrated on the best of days.

So why do I enjoy Christmas? First, Christmas has always been the one time of year that provides me with fuel for my resistance. It makes the notion of never growing up seem a reasonable request. It makes acting silly, dressing unfashionably and cherishing otherwise childish things seem trendy.

The truth is, I learned the hard way that without this brief reprieve from the everydayness of life my outlook on the world tends to become rather bleak. That first Christmas without my brothers around the tree on Christmas morning was not a good year for me and led to one of the toughest years of my single life. 4 years ago we faced one of the roughest years of our married life, a time when our Christmas stayed dark. No lights, no decorations, no anticipation.

Another confession. I am aware of the fact that my resistance to certain (or all) notions of growing up has led some to see me as perhaps less than capable of dealing with change (and hardship for that matter) in a healthy way. I believe this is a mistaken perception, but it is one that likely led to my less than articulate answer to the question, why Christmas? There is an existing tension between my resistance and my maturity, and the more I think about this the more I realize I have never fully understood what this tension means for my life. Thankfully, this year’s holiday episode of The Goldberg’s helped to encourage me towards some fresh perspective:

In this episode, Adam (the youngest Goldberg) faces the challenge of coming of age (as he has been all season). In a rather poignant symbol of what it looks like to finally learn the truth about Santa, Adam’s more developed teenage crisis revolves around growing too old to appreciate the magic of Lucas and Spielberg (and every other childhood wonder of the 80’s of course). Growing up has tainted his childhood experience of these films. They no longer seem as magical as they once seemed.

At the heart of this tension for Adam is his father’s insistence that he must learn to grow up, and that tearing down the movie posters on his wall is a natural part of this process. Ironically, what this leads to is a room that was now bleak, empty and devoid of character, something that eventually follows Adam’s own sense of Christmas spirit and changing worldview.

It is the Grandfather who eventually breathes new life back into Adam’s lost sense of childlike wonder, insisting that even if life forces him to change, and even if he cannot stop from growing older, one thing he can do is always fight for that childhood wonder. It is this sense of wonder, after all, that helped make Adam who he is. And it is this sense of wonder that will continue to shape him as he grows older.

I get this. For me, holding onto Christmas in a world that is constantly working to take it away is a way of re-orienting and reminding myself to see light in the midst of darkness. And so I work to keep my sense of wonder and my optimism about life and this world from whittling away. Embracing the childlike innocence of this season is a way of working at this, of safeguarding me against the persistent nihilism that fuels so much of the unmasked world. Christmas has a way of humbling my perception of what is true and what is not, and reminds me that there is so much more to discover in this world, even at 40.

Christmas affords me a safe space to grow into my childhood wonder rather than grow out of it.

The Role of the Gift-Giver
In my basement, I have an old box full of notes and letters and pieces of my past. As I have poured over these on occasion, there is one thing always stands out. People have recognized me in my past as a gift-giver. It seems to be a part of my social DNA.

Now, I don’t say this with a sense of pride, but simply to say that gifting-giving has always been and likely always will be a large part of how I express myself within relationship. I am not great at verbal discourse. I never have been. But with a gift, I don’t have to use words. And there is nothing that brings me more excitement than finding something that can perfectly express what someone needs to hear at the right time in their life.

In his book, Christmas in the Crosshairs, author Gerry Bowler helps shed some light on the role of the gift-giver in Christmas past. He helps to show that there is perhaps no part of the Christmas tradition that has been more maligned or targeted than the gift-giving and the gift-giver tradition (poor old St. Nicholas). This certainly would include the modern war waged by “buy nothing” campaigns against capitalism and greed, consumerism and over-consumption.

I don’t deny that campaigns like these have some sense of relevance. The whole gift-giving component of Christmas certainly has had its problems through the years. But after reading through the history and becoming more aware of the gift-giving tradition, I have come to recognize that perhaps the image of the gift-giver has simply been misunderstood and lost in translation amidst the ongoing war (and if you don’t appreciate the term war in relation to Christmas, I would highly recommend you give Bowler’s book a read). In-fact, St. Nicholas, even if his full historical nature remains somewhat subjective, is a complex and intriguing study alone, a fascinating individual to uncover and learn from.

Here are some ways that I think the symbol of the gift-giver can be reclaimed, and some reasons the gift-giving tradition remains an important reason for why I enjoy Christmas:

1. Meaning over Money: It begins here because this is what the war has always been about. If history has anything to say, which it usually does, the gift-giving practice will always exist within this tension. It is an unfortunate result of living in a grown-up world. And yet, there remains something beautiful to be found in the image of the gift-giver, both in its origins and in the eventual transformation towards a symbol of family and relationship in it’s Westernization.

For me, the gift-giving tradition finds life in O. Henry’s beautiful tale, The Gift of the Magi, more so than in our modern images of mall Santa’s and Christmas sales. It is a story that brings to heart the greater mystery behind the gift-giving practice, and the way in which the practice of giving gifts can be a way of learning to see underneath the surface of who we are and the stuff we face. It has a way of pushing us to see beyond ourselves and affords us a way of learning to become active participants in the relationships that bind us. Which leads me to the second point…

2. Gift-Giving as Social Awareness:For as much as the gift-giving practice allows me to narrow in on the more private and intimate relationships in my life, it also allows me to see the world at large in a more honest way. The overwhelming presence of charities at this time of year might be a bit opportunistic, but history can help show us that Christmas has always had a part in giving power to the disenfranchised and pushing back against the social divide. For me, Christmas has always afforded me a lens to not simply see the life that exists within the walls of my own family, but also gives me the strength to see the world, messiness and all, that exists beyond my walls.

Much of the war against Christmas in Bowler’s book, which he insists has always existed (inside and outside of its religious ties), finds the most furious and passionate battles being waged against its relevance as a social construct. It is no mistake that those interested in abolishing or fighting back against Christmas targeted it’s traditions, with the gift-giver being at the top of the list. It is also no mistake that, for every time Christmas seemed destined to be left for dead in the pages of history, it is the traditional symbol of the gift-giver that helped to revive it. This is simply to say, there is power in this symbol, sometimes for worse, but often for better. It is also to say that, in its most positive form, the image of the gift-giver has the ability to break down our social constructs and divisions as quickly as it tends to create them.

3. The Gift-Giver as Creativity: If it is about meaning over money, and if it is about giving strength and voice to both the intimate and the foreign relationships of our life and our world, then the gift-giving practice demands a certain creative force to stay relevant and fresh. Relationships are about constantly learning and discovering, and for me, if I am to keep the gift-giving practice as a part of my own Christmas tradition it should be given the freedom to grow and adapt along with these forming relationships. It is not about persisting with a tree covered in presents and bills that carry forward well into the New Year. It is not about obligations or a perfect Christmas setting. Rather it is about being intentional about how we use the symbol of the gift-giver to bring us closer together and to surprise us on a yearly basis.

Personally, I don’t believe the idea of gift-giving needs to be abolished, it simply needs to be continually re-created… every year, in every new season. We are different people than we were the year before, and thus how we integrate it into our Christmas celebrations should and does demand some intentionality and thoughtfulness. This is a part of what keeps it exciting and meaningful, and a little creativity (and a little willingness… yes, I know… to change) can go a long way in protecting the gift-giving practice from the negative forces that compete for its attention.

It is worth saying (or accentuating), finally, that Gift-Giving is not about the material or possessions, even if it might include material expression. Gift-Giving comes in many forms, and ultimately it is about taking the opportunity to know someone, to be aware of peoples needs and passions, and likewise to allow ourselves to be known by another. Sometimes I wonder whether it is harder to give or to recieve gifts, and oftentimes I wonder if it is the latter. But what I do know is, it is okay to admit that we need to be needed and that we need to be noticed, something that a gift can oftentimes help express.

4. The gift-giver as Religious Symbol and Conviction: This certainly could be number 1 on the list. As the gift-giving practice is built around meaning and social awareness, it should also bring us closer to its spiritual core.

Bowler helps to show how Christmas has always followed two separate lines in its development, the religious and the secular. Uncovering the meaning of Christmas in both of these respects requires us to learn how to live into these two expressions with equal levels of tolerance. But he also makes an important point that, in stepping back from the war against Christmas, we can also learn to live into our traditions with more a more honest expression of personal conviction.

For all of the problems that Christmas has faced within the walls of the Church (as religious forces fought over the date, the Biblical integrity of the celebration itself, and eventually the struggle to protect the integrity of the religious practice from the pagan celebrations it co-existed with), there is one thing that has remained important to me over the years. Christmas reminds me that there is wonder to be found in the picture of God’s gift to us. As Keller points out in his book Hidden Christmas, this idea of the gift-giver is truly unique and revolutionary as a religious symbol, and behind the controversy sits a wealth of theological revelation that should truly amaze and astound us.

I love the way this quote, from Keller’s book helps to translate this idea of Christmas into the idea of a living conviction and faith:

“What is Christianity? If you think Christianity is mainly going to church, believing a certain creed, and living a certain kind of life, then there will be no note of wonder and surprise about the fact that you are a believer. If someone asks you, “Are you a Christian?” you will say, “Of course I am! It’s hard work but I’m doing it. Why do you ask?” Christianity is, in this view, something done by you—and so there’s no astonishment about being a Christian. However, if Christianity is something done for you, and to you, and in you, then there is a constant note of surprise and wonder…

So, if someone asks you if you are a Christian, you should not say, “Of course!” There should be no “of course-ness” about it. It would be more appropriate to say, “Yes, I am, and that’s a miracle. Me! A Christian! Who would have ever thought it? Yet he did it, and I’m his.”
– Tim Keller (Hidden Christmas)

Why do I enjoy Christmas? Because it helps to remind me that faith is full of wonder and new learnings. It helps to remind me that faith is full of anticipation, even in the darkest of times. It helps to remind me that, long before the living, breathing tradition of celebrating the Christ-child became what we now recognize as “Christmas”, God was up to something in our midst. It is a humbling thought, and an important one for me, to know that I can rest in this sense of God’s great mystery, even as I speak to it with an equal sense of religious conviction. It is not about being right, but rather it is about being honest about where this movement of faith is taking me.

Perhaps the most powerful notion of Christmas for me is the way the narrative itself seems intent on bringing us into God’s story as well. At Christmas, we get to celebrate being a part of God’s story. How amazing is that? Keller does a marvelous job of showing just how integrated this idea is with the Christmas narratives and the earlier oral traditions that gave life to these narratives. Christianity is not just about God coming to earth, it is about God opening the door to declare we are never alone and never divided in the context of His family.

The Hopefulness of Christmas
It is true, I am a sucker for the romanticism of Christmas. The lights, the songs, the snow. Hot chocolate and eggnog, and family celebrations. For me, Christmas is a season of joy.

And yet I remain aware, even for myself, that Christmas is also a struggle. For many, including myself, it sometimes exists as a contradiction, a contrast of the tough stuff of life and the promise of something more hopeful. It is a season when the promise of light sometimes seems shallow in the persisting face of darkness. In these times it can become a picture of the false allure of happiness and the false promise of joy.

And yet, somehow, in someway, Christmas remains an important source of hope and hopefulness in our world. It wouldn’t be a struggle to embrace it, and it wouldn’t be a source of this tension if it wasn’t.

For me, I enjoy Christmas because of this persistent force. Christmas is not something I have to create, it is simply something that I get to live into. It reminds me, just as Adam Goldberg was reminded, that a spirit of wonder is worth the fight to hold onto, that living humbly is worth the investment. It reminds me that no matter how far I fall from this wonder, there is a Spirit that has gone before me and that is creating something new, something miraculous. At Christmas, I have a chance to open my eyes to this greater vision for not just my life, but for the world. Now how can I not enjoy this season.

Merry Christmas and many blessings.